Return to The Sacred Place

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In the two weeks following that whole thing with Mari, I found that Blair and I started spending even more time together. And that was saying something because we already spent a lot of time in each other's presence.

If we're being honest here, it was really only making me realize just how much I liked her.

And when I walked into school I was feeling the very sudden and intense urge to tell somebody about it.

I had to tell somebody.

I had to get it off of my chest and tell somebody because it was getting fuckin' bad.

As in, the day prior to the one I'm currently talking about, I was with her, Freddy, Fallon, and Leslie at the mall.

We were playing hide and seek like a bunch of children, and I could see Freddy spot Leslie hiding behind some cardboard cutout a level below me.

He snuck up behind her, hugged her, and they kissed.

I thought to myself, 'I'd kill to be able to do that with Blair.'

And I followed that up with, 'Oh no, I would, wouldn't I? Fuck.'

But the question was, who was I going to tell?

Somebody other than T-Frex, I mean.

He already knew, but telling him wasn't really the same as telling somebody that actually knew Blair.

As I turned the corner, I found Freddy talking to Leslie, who was grabbing some stuff out of her locker.

'Ah, perfect,' I thought.

Freddy saw me walking over and shouted, "HEY, BABY!"

"Hey," I greeted back with a lot less energy.

"You're here earlier than usual."

"I guess I am," I said. "Hey Leslie, do you think we can talk later? Alone?"

"Sure, dude."

"Y-Y-YOU... Y-YOU GUYS CAN TALK NOW IF YOU W-WANT."

"No, it's fine. It can wait."

"W-WELL, I HAVE TO GO DOWN TO TH-THE COUNSELING OFFICE BEFORE F-FIRST HOUR STARTS, SO Y-YOU GUYS WILL BE ALONE ANYWAY."

"Yeah, Fred's right. You wanna just talk now?"

"If that's the case, then sure."

"Alright." Leslie kicked her locker closed and turned back to her boyfriend. "I'll see you in class, okay?"

"OKAY!"

She kissed him on the cheek before he left to go to the counselor's office.

"Wanna talk here or in the haunted ass bathroom?"

"Uh... the haunted bathroom."

It wasn't a long walk from Leslie's locker to the supposedly ghost-filled bathroom.

Once we were inside, she leaned back against the edge of the sink and folded her arms. "So, what's up, my guy?"

She must've noticed I was more awkward and nervous than usual because she suddenly asked, "You're not like, fucking dying or something, right? Shit. You are, aren't you? Fuck—"

"Okay, calm down. I'm not dying."

I hadn't come out to anybody but my gay friend from Utah who had already came out to me a while beforehand, so I wasn't quite sure how to do it, I guess?

So I just said something incredibly generic and vague. "I just... uh, I... I think I have feelings for someone and I have to tell somebody about it or I'm gonna fucking explode."

Leslie did an obnoxiously long, drawn-out 'oh'. "Okay, so, who's the guy?"

"Girl," I corrected nervously.

"My bad, who's the girl?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh man, you don't care that I'm gay?"

Leslie gave me a funny look. "Well, I wouldn't say I don't care, I'm not bothered by the fact that you like girls. That's fine with me, dude. I mean, you do know I'm LGBT too, right?"

"You are?" I asked blankly.

"Yeah, I'm ace," Leslie replied nonchalantly, pointing to one of the various pins lining the collar of her leather jacket. It was decorated with a black, grey, white, and purple stripe.

The colors of the asexual flag.

"Has that pin always been there?"

I had seen her wear that jacket many times before but had never noticed that pin.

"Pretty much. And I think I mentioned it a few times in passing." She shrugged. "Plus, like, my twin is agender and I have two dads and I'm really supportive of all of them. You really think I'm gonna be a dickhead to you for not being straight?"

"Well, you never know. Sometimes people seem like they'd be fine with it, and then, for some reason, they aren't!"

"Alright, alright, fair point. But steering back onto the original topic, you like a girl. Who is she?"

"Uh... I was about to say that it's somebody you know, but you know everyone in the school. So I'll just be blunt." There was a long moment of hesitation, but I finally fucking said it out loud. "Its... Blair."

About time, right?

"Blair, huh?" Leslie paused for a moment, as if she was about to say something different than what she actually ended up saying. "You oughta tell her."

I looked at her like she was crazy. "I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Well—, I—, she—" I sputtered out like a moron. "There's no way that she likes me too!"

She rolled her eyes. "You don't know that."

"I heard her say that she already likes someone."

"Maybe that someone is you." 

My brain refused to comprehend the possibility. "There's no way."

Leslie stood back up properly and placed her cold ass doctor hands on my shoulders. "Listen, man. The idea of her liking you back is not as wack as you think it is. You should legit consider asking her out."

"I'm not sure if I can. I'm too much of a fucking wimp."

"Yo, stop that. Stop saying rude ass things about my friend. Only I can do that."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Are you saying that you can insult me but I can't insult myself?"

"That's exactly what the fuck I'm saying," she said. "I'm serious, though. Ask her out, dude. Don't wait. And don't be afraid. It's not like Blair would laugh at you or something. Just give it a shot."

"I can't," I choked out with a slight voice crack.

"You can. I will constantly and subtly bug the shit out of you until you do."

When I couldn't manage to say anything in response, she continued. "Okay, how 'bout we work our way towards it? Start out by coming out to the rest of our friend group first. You think you can do that? It's only three more people. Four, if you include Smurf-Boy. And I'm more than positive that they'll accept you, dude."

"I... think I can do that."

"Alright, cool." She grinned lopsidedly. "Now let's get to Schmidt's class. If I end up with one more tardy I'm gonna get another detention."

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