Undercover [[KNJ]] 18+ ✔️

52

Hana was in her room when Namjoon and his friends came home. She peeked out the window and could tell they were pissed off with the way they walked towards the house. She felt herself smirking and went back to her bed to read. Although she had a feeling that someone would knock on her door and demand that she cook them dinner.

Jungkook had called her saying that the bust went well, but Namjoon and his gang got away without being seen. The group trying to buy guns from them were caught but weren't telling the cops who the dealers were. It was obvious who it was and the cops knew they wanted to live. Hence the reason they kept their mouths shut.

A few minutes later there was a loud knock on the door and she heard Namjoon call her. She rolled her eyes and called him in. Namjoon opened the door and kicked it shut with so much force, the cabinets shook. She watched him stop his way over to the bed and he fell face-first onto it, not saying a word.

"Um, can I help you?"

"No," He said, his voice muffled.

"Can't you do this in your own room?"

"No,"

Hana sighed, "Well if you are just going to do that I'll read somewhere else,"

"No," He said grabbing her ankle before she could move, "I...I need to talk to you,"

"About what?"

Namjoon let out a muffled sigh and rolled onto his back, "Us,"

"There is no us," Hana shrugged, "If that is it, you can leave now because-"

"I'm used to being in control," He said quietly, "I have always been in control and I hate when I lose it. Everything I do is all about control. I have to have it and when I don't, I get angry. Really angry. I've killed someone because I lost the control,"

Hana frowned, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Jin told me to talk to you,"

Hana rolled her eyes, "So you can follow what he says?"

"Not really," Namjoon muttered, "But he said it might make me feel better and have you understand me more,"

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then just shut up and let me talk," He snapped, "This isn't easy for me,"

Hana swallowed the lump in her throat, "Alright. Talk,"

"I'm not used to feelings," He said quietly, "For me, feelings make you weak. Most of the feelings I have are anger or nothing. I'm controlling because I need it to feel powerful. I don't like people going against me and when that happens, they end up dying. I kill them or I get someone to kill them for me. Someone owed me money and I gave them a week to come up with it or I would kill them and their family,"

Namjoon sat up keeping a hand on her ankle like he was scared she was going to run away.

"I didn't get the money," Namjoon said, "We went to his house and he was there with his family. Hoseok and Jimin tied their hands behind their back and said that he had to give us the money then and there or we would kill his family members in front of him,"

"Did you?"

"I didn't," Namjoon said and looked at her, "He begged to let them go but I turned him down. He had to choose the first person to die. Of course, he chose himself but that wasn't what I wanted to hear. I made him take my gun and I made him shoot his wife,"

Hana's eyes went wide.

"I then told him he had 2 hours to find the money or I get him to shoot one of his sons," Namjoon said with a shrug, "He cried that he didn't have the money and that his sons were innocent. But I didn't care. He wasn't doing as he was told and I was losing control. I don't feel any remorse for the death of his wife or sons,"

"Why would-"

"The control I had in that situation had my blood boiling," He said, "I loved every second of it and I enjoyed seeing him shoot his family,"

"Wouldn't he have tried to shoot you?" Hana asked quietly.

"Yes, but I had Yoongi hold the gun with the man," He said, "I didn't get my money but I did get to see him arrested and sentenced to life in jail,"

"You really are psychotic," Hana whispered.

"Yes," Namjoon said, looking away, "But this is what is confusing me. Can a psychopath feel anything other than anger, control and wanting to kill?"

"I don't know. You tell me,"

Namjoon looked up at her, "I've been with girls before. Plenty of them but none of them make me feel the way you do. I don't know what this feeling is and between you and me, it scares me,"

Hana's heart was racing and she couldn't take her eyes from his. She knew that her feelings towards him were bad and she tried her best to get rid of them. But nothing was working. As she tried to figure out what was going on in her head, she could feel herself slowly falling away from what she originally set out to do. 

She was caught in a tangled love affair and it was slowly eating away at her.

"I'm obsessed with you, Hana," Namjoon said, "I want your everything and I will do anything to get it. I hate knowing that men look at you. I hate knowing that other men had their hands on you. I want your life, Hana,"

"Then kill me,"

Namjoon shook his head, "No. That's not what I meant,"

"Then what do you mean?"

"I want your life to belong to me," He said, "Everything about you, I want to be mine. Your body. Your soul. Your heart. I want it to be mine,"

Hana looked away from him, her heart in her throat. Her palms had become sweaty and she let out a shaky breath.

"You can't deny you feel the same way about me," Namjoon said, "I saw your face when you caught me with Erin and...I've never felt guilt before. Ever. But when you came into my room to see that, I felt it,"

Namjoon grabbed Hana's arm and yanked her into him, hugging her tightly.

"Hana," He said quietly, "I don't know if this is what I am feeling because I don't know how to understand my feelings, but...I think I love you,"

"What, but you-"

"No," He said firmly, "I don't think it. I do. I do love you" 

A/N: On a roll.

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