Sassing Mr. Hemmings || l.h ||

Chapter 34

Chapter 34
I woke up literally laying on top of my boyfriend. Oh.

"WAKE UP, YOU LOVELY SHITS," Celeste came barging in and yelled.

"Celeste go away," Luke groaned, throwing a pillow at her and tightening his arms around me.

"No, wake up, Lewi," she said, using the nickname his dad gave him.

"Okay, okay. Dammit, I'm up," he said, stretching.

Celeste rolled her eyes and whacked him on the head.

"You suck," Luke complained.

"No, that's Michelle's job," she winked at me and walked out.

"We didn't do anything yet! Yet!" He said with a whiny voice, "But I plan on working my magic."

"What magic?" I joked.

"Shut up. You know you want me."

"Want what?"

"My big, juicy-"

"Luke, shut up."

"Banana." He finished his sentence.

I whacked him on the head.

"Why is everybody whacking me today? I'm so pissed off. I am so mad."

"Luke, honey? Are you okay? Do you need some chocolate? Ice cream? How I Met Your Mother? Maybe a pad? If you don't want a pad I have some tampons. Would you like the blue ones? Or the pink ones?" I asked, pretending he was on his period.

"Dammit, Michelle I want the blue ones! I'm a man for fuck's sake."

"Of course, I'm so sorry I even asked."

"You should be."

When we got downstairs, Celeste and Jack were busy cooking everyone breakfast. And it kinda looked like a fail.

"Jack! What the fuck? How do you burn Mac and Cheese?" Celeste groaned.

"Make Luke and Michelle cook, I quit."

So they don't have any hot pockets?

Dammit.

"You guys are funny. We can't fucking cook," Luke replied.

"Well we can't either."

"We'll do it," I rolled my eyes, dragging Luke into the kitchen.

"Thanks guys!" Celeste said gratefully.

"Okay, so what are we going to make?" Luke asked, "I can't cook."

"Just microwave something," I suggested, "I can't fucking cook either."

Luke and I quickly rummaged through the fridge and finally found some leftover pizza from yesterday.

"This will do," Luke declared.

"They're gonna know we microwaved it, dumbass."

"What do you want me to do? Oh, look, here's some strawberries. Go tell them we went out to a strawberry field to pick them or some shit."

"There are no strawberry fields around here I'm pretty sure." Liz walked in.

"Good morning guys," Andy followed behind Liz, "So what are you doing?"

"You know, just microwaving pizza for all y'all," Luke said, giving him a big fake smile and a thumbs up.

Liz slapped him playfully on the arm, "Go away. I'll cook."