Maybe It's Been You All Along - Alex Turner

54

Alex hadn't seen a day sober since the night Rosanna left him. He was constantly trying to numb the pain of loosing her with the toxic release of alcohol. There wasn't much his friends could do about it because every time they brought it up he would just become sneaky with how he hid it and consumed it. He was always slurring his words on stage and in a constant state of incognisance. Either he was fumbling around or crying about Rosanna. He was never going to get over her. He'd cried himself to sleep every night.

It was about a week after that he finally got his first full night's rest and it was mostly due to Matt forcing him to and his intake in alcohol. He would fall asleep mumbling her name over and over. Finding out she was moving back to England really broke him. He never thought he was ever going to see her again.

Alex only performed because he knew Rosanna would want him to. He still kept her song as his ringtone and the wallpaper of his phone as her face so he'd never be able to forget it. Matt eventually told him he should change it for Alex's own sake because he knew how much pain was sent through Alex's heart every time he opened his phone up to her face.

It had only been two and a half weeks but it felt like and eternity. Being on tour didn't make the healing process any easier. Every song took the life out of him to sing. Especially the ballads he used to sing for her. But nothing was worse than the nightmares. All they were was loosing her over and over again but that alone was enough to absolutely destroy him.

Much alike, Rosanna was haunted by nightmares every time she lay her head. She eventually managed to make it through days without crying but would often become overwhelmed with emotion and break down. Telling her parents was the hardest thing for her. She promised herself to stay strong but as soon as her mum said, "aww Rosanna. I'm so sorry darling. I'm so sorry," after she told her Rosanna broke down into tears yet again. She hated when her mother would cry for her. She hated telling everyone what happened and all the pity and sympathy they would give her. Just retelling the story forced her to relive it.

Rosanna managed to find an apartment in London after a week and a half of desperately looking for places and rented it out as soon as she could. It was a temporary place for her to stay whilst she found somewhere else but she just so desperately wanted to get out of LA that she moved at the first opportunity that she could.

She went passed her and Alex's house before she left and almost bit through her lip to stop herself from crying. She still had the key and decided to walk through the house just one last time before she let it all go and started over.

The second she stepped in her nose was hit with a whiff of the very specific smell their house had. It was almost comforting but at the same time it was suffocating. It hurt her lungs because it used to mean home. Now it was what was driving her out of the country.

It pained her to look around the place and even more so when she saw all the empty bottles of spirits shoved into the bin and the glasses covering the island bench. Alex. She started crying at the thought of him sitting in the house alone drinking himself blind. Why can't you just take care of yourself? She begged internally.

She ran her fingertips over the record player Alex had bought her as a housewarming gift and felt her stomach clench in on itself. She looked away quickly before it could ruin her anymore and questioned whether going there was a good idea in the first place.

She forced herself to walk through the house just this one last time because she knew she was never coming back and would regret it if she left without saying goodbye to her first actual Home.

The home studio was untouched except for that the lyrics she left for him were now missing. Her heart ached at the memory of putting together a song with Alex in there. Lying side by side in exhaustion after it was finished.