The King and The Lionheart (Loki fanfic V:1)

Stay Alive Part 8

"Amril," He whispers and holds out a hand for me to take.

Instead I take a step back shaking from head to boot "You're not him. You can't be him. He's dead."

He nods looking at me and opens his mouth to speak again, those perfect lips parting as if to speak the words of the gods. "Amril, darling. Please, just take my hand. Please, just be with me. Just let me touch you."

I feel a tear slip and I don't even bother trying to wipe it away "You're not him," I repeat but I can't bring myself to swing my daggers, to shoot my magic, to walk away, to run as fast as I can, I can't bring myself to even look away.

"Amril, would I ever lie to you? Nothing bad will happen to you if you come with me, I promise you. Please my love I want to feel your lips against mine." He says slowly walking towards me until finally he is a foot in front of me.

I stare into his eyes and force myself to take a step back and I shake my head never once breaking eye contact. "You're... he's dead."

He slowly brings a hand up to my cheek and brushes his thumb wiping another tear away. I melt with ever brush of his hands "Does this feel dead, my love? Does this feel fake? Our love for each other is so strong that even death cannot stop us. Please come into the water with me. I want to show you something."

I shake my head "no" and resist his gentle tugging on my hands toward the water "I'm not an idiot. I know you're not him," Even saying these words are hard for me to do. Even though I know this isn't him I'm having a hard time resisting him.

"I have missed you, love. Your beautiful face hasn't changed at all. I want to show you something, it's in the water," He says and, with the constant gentle tugging of my hands, I can't help but take a step toward the water. "It's important that you come with me."

"No," I whisper choking on a sob.

"I don't want to leave you behind," He says and grips my shoulders. As I stare into his eyes I can see around the water in my eyes that tears are forming in his. I nod and take another step before hearing Eliina scream my name.

I look behind me to see her staring at me with horror written across her face and I feel my expression fall into confusion. Loki jerks at my shoulders turning my attention back to him "Darling, she won't understand we have to go now," he whispers to me as quickly as the words will form and tumble from his perfect lips. I start to slowly tug my arms out of his grasp but he doesn't let go.

Suddenly I see a throwing knife fly into his arm. I keep my eyes on my love and as soon as she starts to run to us he hisses at her and runs for the water. I feel Eliina take my hand and she starts to run pulling me along behind her. I stumble after her and I quickly look back at the water. I see a creature with seaweed like hair and greenish yellow eyes just above the water glaring at us.

Finally when she deems that we're a safe enough distance from camp she turns around and yells "What in Helheim were you thinking, Amril? That was a Nøkken! It would have drowned you the second you got into the water," she stares at me in disbelief and see that I have my head hung to the ground, tears cascading down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. Her disbelief melts into empathy and she pulls me close into an embrace.

"You have to be more careful. I'm just happy you're alright," After a moment she sighs and tries to lighten the mood "So, that was the famous Prince Loki's face. Have to say, guy was sort of ripped."

This drags a laugh out of me, I wipe the tears from my face, and I join in her fun "Well, you couldn't have honestly believed our attractive was based purely on an intellectual level, do you?"

She fakes a gasp and grins "I didn't think you were so dirty," she says and wiggles her eyebrows at me.

I grin back and say "Oh please, I mean, you saw him right?" We laugh as we walk back to the camp and I try to keep my mind off the fact that I almost died. Almost let myself die, I knew full well that wasn't Loki, however, Eliina doesn't have to know that I knew.

I find solace in the fighting ring and drinking with Eliina. I think if the past me could see me now she would be disappointed in me, at how lost I am. I don't think I care. I think I'm drunk right now. Eliina is trying to pick a fight with someone twice her size and I would worry but we're at a base camp so I doubt the fight would be allowed to happen for long. Especially with how sharp the bartender is looking around.

I wonder what my mom and dad are doing right now, my real ones. The Rospers were great until I became the king's main adviser and then they kind of iced me out. Speaking of ice, the dreams about Loki haven't stopped. If anything they've become so regular they're almost normal now. I still only dream of him or the dead pulling me into the ground with them.

As I stare blankly at the alcohol in my drink as I think about all the possibilities of the life I could've had if I hadn't been shoved into Asgard. I dawns on me that I wouldn't have met Loki. Even for all the pain I go through when it comes to the memories of him I wouldn't trade this pain for a reality where we never met.

"Hey," Eliina mumbles as she sits beside me on the bench. She looks at me for a moment before seeming to sober instantly as she asks "What's wrong? You've got a look. A not so good look, sort of like you're going to throw up."

I laugh "Gee, thanks Eliina. It's just that I haven't really been able to tell up from down for a while. I probably won't be able to for quite some time."

"You're lost, Amril. Ever since Loki... died you've been lost," I nod and hang my head low in shame. Asgardians are supposed to be stronger than this. "Look, I get it, I know that you can't rush the grieving process but are you sure this is grieving anymore," I can't bring myself to look at her because she's about to say what I can't. "This... gods Amril, look at me when I talk to you," I'm startled by the anger in her voice. I look up at her to see she has tears flowing down her face.

I'm shocked because this is the first time she's ever cried in front of me "It seems like you have battle sickness. I think you should talk to some healers," I grip her hand in mine and turn my gaze back to the fire.

"I don't know anymore, Eliina," I chuckle and try to lighten the mood. "Imagine that, me not knowing, even the gods must be shocked by this," She doesn't laugh like she usually would, instead she scoots closer to me and puts her head on my shoulder and holds my hand even tighter.

That night when I'm drifting off to sleep I think I hear Eliina walking to my side. I turn over to ask her what's wrong when a hand covers my mouth and I'm knocked out. Nope, definitely not Eliina.