I made a Tumblr post saying that I needed a number between 1 and 8 to chose the ship for this. The number chosen was 7. 7 is treebros so heere we are.
I want to write an angst version of this and a fluff version of this. Why? Because pain.
tw: Connor's dead and Evan's depression
Word count: 411
(Side note, I've never lost anyone close to me so I don't know what it's like. But I do know what depression is like so it's a mix of "I have no clue what in the fuck I'm talking about" and "Ha ha ha. I do that" If something isn't accurate please let me know and I'll fix it)
(This is an AU where the two were dating before Connor did the death.)
---
Normally New Year's Eve was a time of joyous celebrations to wring in the New Year.
Normally there were parties.
Normally people watched the ball drop in Times Square on TV or went there in person.
This year Evan Hansen was doing none of these things.
Earlier this year Evan's boyfriend, Connor, had committed suicide.
Evan didn't feel like celebrating with his friends. He didn't feel like celebrating anything. He just felt like hiding away and shutting the world out.
"Hey, Ev?"
Evan was confused. The voice next to him sounded like Connor's.
"Evan, honey, look at me."
Evan looked up in the direction of the voice.
And there he was.
The man of the hour.
Connor Flippen Murphy.
Evan was in such a shocked state that he couldn't even realize that his mind was making all of this up.
"C-Connor? B-but you- you. H-how?"
Ghost Connor didn't answer Evan's question. "That's not the important part. What's important is that I'm here now."
Evan started to cry and wrapped ghost Connor up in a hug. Ghost Connor rubbed small circles on Evan's back and whispered words of reassurance into his ear.
Evan had a playlist of random songs going on in the background that he hadn't paid attention to since he turned it on. Seasons Of Love from R.E.N.T came on and ghost Connor stood up and grabbed Evan's hand.
"May I have this dance?" He asked playfully bowing.
~~~
This is how a very grief-stricken, and very depressed Evan Hansen ended up slow dancing to Seasons Of Love with a figment of his dead boyfriend that his mind came up with on New Year's Eve, and crying himself to sleep.
---
I made myself cry while writing this because I kept reminding myself that Connor was dead.
Using the song Seasons Of Love for the song was Winter's idea.
Your resident stupid author who made themselves cry while writing,
Em
(The fluff is coming shortly)
YOU ARE READING
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