The Not Multi-Chapter Fic Shrine (Multi-fandom Oneshots)

I'm Losing It Laurens (Lams)

We are back bitches. Bale with more crackfics.

Tw: death, death mentions, suicide mentions, crackficness, cursing, the entire plot of Hamilton with shit tons of typos and dumb ass humor except it was lowkey highkey very lowkey gay.

Word count: 538

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Once upon a time Alexdere Hamilman came to Amurica from the Cribiab.

This was after the island died, his mom died, his cousin did the self death, and his dad walked out on his family to get a healthy snack for Rebecca.

Then these people read the fanfic he wrote and decided to pay to send him to Amurica to get his fanfic published.

Then he pushed some collage financial man in the face and stalked a guy named a a ron burger sir.

Then some gay revolution dudes rolled up. Their names were John Lauras, French Laffy Taffy, and Jeremy Heere's Dad's great great great great great grandpa who wore hot pants. Alexdere and John Lauras and they were both like "Oh fuck. I'm sinning in the church of Jesus Faist even tho Mike Faist doesn't exist yet."

Then there was a rap song, some driking and being gay revolutoon mens, Hamibob ripped this "WORSHIP EVIL KING MAN" dude and the Evil King Dude fucked the Ameuican flag.

And somewhere in there the work work sisters (Angles, A Lizard, AnD pEeGy!!!!) sang a song and were hit on by a a ron burger sir.

Then there was a party thingy where Alexdere Hamildude cheated on John Lauras with A Lizard, and Angles liked Hamilbisexual.

Then some political shit happened and Hamilprick became Patton Sanders (but he kills people's) right had man instead of a a ron burger sir.

Then A Lizard and Hamilcheater got married, Lauras was depression, and Angles rapped too.

Or something like that. The exact order doesn't matter.

Then some war shit happened and John Lauras died.

Then slutty Heather Chandler came in and was like "Hamildic lemme smash."

And Hamilduck cheated again, only on A Lizard this time because John Lauras died.

Do some time skips and Hamildumbass is like "IF I TELL EVERYONE ABOUT MY CHEATING ON A LIZARD THEN IT'LL SAVE MY REPUTATION FOR SURE" like the idiot he is.

Then Angles is like U DUM ASS FUC JUST LOST THE BEST THING YOU'VE EVER HAD (which really isn't true. He had Lauras.) and A Lizard is like "BURN MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!! >:("

Then Alexdere, struck with greif, got his son who looked a lot like John Lauras, killed.

Then A A Ron Burger Sir killed Alexdere.

If only John Lauras never died.

The end.

~~~

Alexander Hamilton looked at the time, 3 am. Then he tried to process what the h ell that fever dream was.

Then his boyfriend, John Laurens, came in and pushed Alex back down on the bed.

"Oh no you don't," he said, "you were running a 100 fever, you are staying in bed, I could care less how much work you have to do."

Alex looked around the room and said "I'm fucking losing it Laurens." And proceeded to explain the weird ads dream he just had.

Once he finished John asked what Alex was high on. The two laughed about it before John went back to fussing over Alex and Alex.went back to protesting how he was fine and had losts of work to do.

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Someone take away my internet privileges.

-Em