We're back with the crack.
(To my FBI agent I swear I'm not doing drugs. I'm too small for that.)
tw: Em writing more cRACK, just, this is so fucking dumb- and Em roasting Evan because plz dont kill meh.
word count: 185
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One day Eban Handjob and his boyf man Connot Murp were walking down the street with the fleshy extremities at the end of their arms intertwined. Then the konk man showed up.
"Hey fuckers! What's up?" said the konk man while dabbing.
Connot stood in front of Eban and T posed. "Not today konk man. Back the fuck away from Eban."
"I'm not heere for Eban. I'm heere for you Connot." The konk man said wiping away a tear as the dramatic anime music intensified. "Eban doesn't deserve you. He's a prick. He pretended to be friends with that dead kid that one time, manipulated the family who was grieving and started dating that one bitch who complained about the milk all the time."
Connot loses his stance and turned to Eban. "Eban, is all of that true?" The dramatic anime music turned intense as it intensified. Evan couldn't look Connot in the eyes. "Eban please tell me it isn't true."
Eban looked up at Connor as the anime music got sad but was still intensified. "I can not lie to you Connot. Those are all things I have done. I am not worthy of your love. I am sorry." Eban let go of Connot's hand and ran down the street while crying.
Connot looked at the konk man and thanked him for his service. Eban was never heard from again.
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*WHEEZE* WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?????? *MORE WHEEZE*
-Em
YOU ARE READING
The Not Multi-Chapter Fic Shrine (Multi-fandom Oneshots)
FanfictionHere is a one-shot book. This hordes the writings that didn't go to the multi-chapter fic shrine. What am I doing with my life? The first like 5 were copied from my Tumblr with some minor adjustments. Most of these are only for Wattpad and AO3. The...
