The Not Multi-Chapter Fic Shrine (Multi-fandom Oneshots)

The Tickle War (Royality, Background Analogical)

Aka the 3 times Patton got away with tickling Roman and the one time he didn't and started a war.

Combatting the Coronavirus and sleep with gay fanfic take whatever this is.

tw: Roman angst, Remus being Remus

word count: 1085

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Nonviolent wars were commonplace in the mind palace. Not everyone would get involved in them. Logan says that they were childish. Patton claimed that wars were bad. Thomas just didn't know what was going on in his head. However, there was one time that Patton actually was apart of one of these wars.

It was quite the effort for this to happen though.

It all started with Patton wanting to tickle his boyfriend.

~~~

After long days Roman would often put on a Spotify playlist of powerful broadway songs. Songs such as Waving Through A Window, Defying Gravity, World Burn, She Used To Be Mine, and so on and so forth.

The song that was currently playing was Monster from Frozen and he was really feeling it.

"Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage, caught in a war, that I was never meant to wage." Roman was unaware of the audience behind him. "Do I kill the monster? Father, you know what's best for me. If I die, will they be free? Mother, what if after I'm gone, the cold gets colder and the storm rages on?"

Roman was really into it now. "No! I have to stay alive to fix what I've done, save the world from myself, and bring back the sun." Patton knew where the song was going. He had heard it a bazillion times. "If I'm a monster then it's true, there's only one thing that's left for me to do. But before I fade to white I'll do all that I can to make things right."

Roman took a deep breath and hoped to the Broadway gods that he would be able to hit that high note "I cannot be a monster. I will not be a monster! Not tonight!" Roman cursed under his breath at the fact he couldn't hit the note.

"Watch your language, honey." Patton smiled from his spot on the couch. Roman nearly jumped a foot in the air.

Patton giggled and walked up behind Roman. "You know that song is pretty sad Roman."

The prince figured that his love would be going for a hug but that was not the case. Patton started violently tickling Roman's sides.

"OH MY GOD!!" Roman shrieked through his laughter. "PAT STOP!!"

Remus rose up. "Are we murdering my brother?" He asked. He saw the sight of a very flustered Roman and a very smiley giggly Patton. "Oh ew. You're being gay. Let me know if you two fuck later."

~~~

Roman and Patton were cuddled up on the couch watching Finding Nemo. As much as Patton loved that movie his mind was wandering elsewhere. He tried to repress the thoughts, even though that is the exact opposite of what Logan had taught them when Remus first appeared. As Logan had said, repressing the thoughts only made them more prominent figures in his mind.

Patton had stopped actively paying attention to the movie quite some time ago. Roman still hadn't noticed. Patton decided he was going to act on his thoughts. He snuck his arm around Roman's torso. He didn't think anything of it and rested his head on Patton's shoulder. Patton began to tickle Roman's side once more and laughed as the other started shrieking with laughter

Once Patton had had his fun Roman looked over his shoulder pouting.

"Aww, sweetheart, it's ok," Patton tried to be consoling but was rather challenging to do so while laughing.

Roman broke and started laughing with Patton as they turned their focus back to the movie.

~~~

Patton had walked into the kitchen in search of a snack. He was feeling rather dangerous and was planning in getting two cookies.

He was prepared to find Remus existing on or in the fridge doing something weird. What he didn't expect to find was his boyfriend stuffing his face with cookies. Patton didn't hesitate to tickle Roman's sides. Roman started shrieking again.

Upstairs in Logan's room, which was directly about the kitchen, Virgil and Logan heard everything.

"I swear to you Logan. They're trying to cover up the fact that they're fucking by shriek laughing." Virgil sat up from the cuddle session that was going on in his boyfriend's bed. "Or they just don't moan like normal people.

Logan had been agreeing with Virgil on this subject for a while now. "But that's directly below us in the kitchen. Why would they do it in the kitchen?"

"Logan. Babe. Lemme explain something to you," Virgil put his hands together. "When you're horny. You're horny. You don't think with your brain. You think with your dick. So who knows. We'll just watch to see if Patton is walking funny tomorrow." They had also decided that Patton was a bottom.

~~~

Roman had been in his room all day trying to get the script for the next episode right. The last time Patton had seen the side in question was the prior night when he had mentioned how he was going to be working on the script all day.

Patton walked into his boyfriend's room, knocking on the doorframe. Roman perked up and turned around. Patton walked in and sat on the bed.

"Roman, honey, have you eaten anything today?"

Roman looked into the lamplight. Patton knew that Roman did that when he was being called out.

"Have you taken a break at all today?" Patton hoped the answer was yes. He knew it wasn't though. Roman's intensified gaze into the light told him all he needed to know.

Patton pulled Roman out of his desk chair. "Take a break and getaway. Runaway with me from your work. Let's go lay down. Where we can cuddle." Patton sang softly as he led Roman to the bed.

"I love you so much, my love," Roman mumbled as the two lay down. Patton once again tickled Roman's sides to lighten the mood. Roman started laughing but squirmed out of his boyfriend's grasp.

He pinned Patton to the bed and leaned in. "I'm starting a war. A tickle war." He whispered into his lover's ear. Patton's face was bright red and he started laughing at the declaration of war. Patton's laughter turned into shrieks louder than Roman's when the prince had started to tickle his sides.

Patton was against the nonviolent wars of the mindplace 99% of the time.

The exception was when they were tickle wars with his boyfriend.

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I spent like all day today on this. I kept getting distracted.