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Shadows at my feet
Look down, it’s gotten even bigger
I run but the shadow follows


Pathetic Pathetic PatheticPathetic

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Pathetic
Pathetic
Pathetic
Pathetic

"No I'm not." Renjun murmured out, his head on his desk, arms around him as his mind spun- dizzy and frantic inside but he tried to keep himself still.

Pathetic
Pathetic
Pathetic
Pathetic

"I'm not." He said, clenching his fists. Taking a deep breath in and he began tapping his feet, knee bouncing.

Weak
Weak
Weak
Weak

A sharp inhale came from his mouth and Renjun gritted his teeth, sitting up straighter with rage burning inside him.

"I'm not." He growled out, banging a fist on the desk as his chest rose and fell with deep and fast breaths.

Weak
Weak
Weak
Weak

"Shut up," he gritted out, eyes closed as he attempted to calm the monster inside.

Die
Die
Die
Die

"Shut up!" He screamed out, standing up so harshly his chair toppled over and he began panting, hair falling over his face.
"Shut up! Shut up!"

Renjun was blind in a rage, feeling the overwhelming amount of emotion stir inside him, bursting out at the seams- threads of anger taking over.

He threw the nearest object against the wall, shattering the picture frame and he began yelling out in frustration, swiping the desk furiously.
Ripping up papers, smashing objects- his room was turned inside out.

"Renjun," a voice gasped out, frail and weak.

Through his rage, panting and fists clenched- tears pooling- he turned around to the door.
His Mother stood there, warm eyes looking at her son as he stood in the destruction he made.

His Mother was the only one who understood him fully from a young age- but he still felt like a burden.
She was ill, weak from the accident years ago.

"Mum! Mum, please answer me! Please- someone help! Help! I'm so sorry, please-"

A hand on his shoulder pulled him out of his painful memories and his Mother patted his arm, reaching up to brush the hair out of his eyes.

"Let's run you a bath okay?"
Renjun let out a soft scoff, shaking his head.
"I'm not a baby."
"You'll always be my baby though." She said, smiling up at him with nothing but love.

She left the room and that's when Renjun let out a small cry of strangled pain, dropping to the floor- scrambling around on the floor for something.

He needed it.

Do it
Do it
Do it
Do it

His eyes landed on the object, lighting up his face as he lunged towards it- only for a foot to step on it.

Renjun froze, looking up at Jisung who bent down and snatched the blade from the floor and put it behind his back.

"Hyung-"
"Give it to me Jisung." Renjun gritted out, a mess on the floor and Jisung shook his head.

"Why do you hurt yourself Hyung?"

»

Renjun sat numbly in the bath, the water warm but his body felt cold.

He stared ahead of him blankly, his arms limp beside him as the only sound filling his ears was the ones in his head.

He couldn't help it, feeling so trapped within himself, screaming to escape.

"I'm home!" The sound of Jisung's Father booked from downstairs and excited chatter followed, everyone happy together.

Without you
They're happy without you

Renjun had a bitter taste on the edge of his tongue, wanting to cry out until he couldn't breathe- wanting to scream, he wanted someone to hold him.

But he was alone ultimately.

Leaning back, his head hit the water- before he submerged himself under it.

Leaning back, his head hit the water- before he submerged himself under it

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