Day in, day out. Yuki lied there on his bed doing what he usually did. Go on social media, write fan fiction, play app games on his phone, and watch whatever he was in the mood for. Naturally he fed himself as well. Day in, day out. Not much was going on in between changing schools. It wasn't that he chose this kind of routine, it was more that he didn't have many options. Him not being a person who traveled much was also a factor to consider.
Yuki wasn't discontent with how things were. Most of the time he was plenty glad to have things the way they were. Though, he wouldn't mind going out and enjoying the world sometimes. Yuki wasn't one to make plans with friends. What did Yuki classify as a friend? Someone you spend a lot of time with? Someone you often talk to and go out a few times during a year? He didn't know. People he's met, real life or online have come and gone, impacting his life greatly or very little.
Yuki did want to go out with friends to places. He did want to make lasting memories with people in his life. But why did he have to initiate everything? Why did no one ever think, "Oh, I want to talk to Yuki"? He came to a conclusion by himself. He was the problem. He was the reason no one ever invited him out, that no one no longer wanted to talk to him. He wasn't pretty like them, he hardly had money to go out and do anything, he's done a few questionable things that made some upset. He was the embodiment of a problematic person.
Yuki curled into himself as he hid further under his sheets. Why leave home? There's nothing out there for him. He had everything he could ever need at home. Home was safe. Safe from the millions of others out there in the world, ready to enter and exit his life like fast fashion. Was it wrong of him to want someone to be permanent? To send texts and call at random? To actually want to do things together? Why was it hard just trying to talk to someone? To keep the conversation going? To ask them for a way to contact them? To meet up? To even keep that person and not scare them off? To not seem needy, clingy, desperate for attention? Why?
Yuki just wanted a friend, a real friend. Nothing more. He silently cried in bed, hugging a pillow close. He hated feeling so alone, having so much to say and no one to share it all with.
