I NEED YOU NOW||KNJ||✔️

Chapter 38 (Sun, Apr 22, 2018)

When Yoongi opened the door to let me out, the other members stood in front of the door, quickly pretending to do something to act the innocent. I wasn't fooled by them, it was obvious that they had tried to eavesdrop to my conversation with Yoongi. Did they actually get to hear something? Worriedly I looked at Yoongi.

"You fools, I told you it was a private talk!", Yoongi said, quickly back to his grumpy old self. "Don't worry Viola, the walls of the room are soundproof because I use the room as my second studio."

Taehyung tugged on my sleeve. "Can we continue the game? I would like to see if I can win against you this time."

"Okay!" 

Before walking to the living room again, I again looked thankfully in Yoongi's eyes, laying all my sincerity in it. He just nodded and mumbled something about not being paid enough for this job and not having enough sleep before entering his room again and closing the door.

Taehung dragged me on my sleeve to the couch before pushing the controller into my hand and sitting close to me.

After the few car races I won, despite my non-existing experience with video games, Jungkook joined us, sitting next to Taehyung. He was still very shy and awkward around me, but I knew it better. Behind his shyness was a sassy brat, who always loved to tease his members, especially the poor Jin. Of course he didn't meant to hurt them, he just teased them like brothers do.

"Can we play Overwatch together?", he asked shyly without looking into my eyes.

I was surprised by the question, but agreed.

Soon enough we were involved in a very thrilling game.

"Noooo!", Taehyung exclaimed when his avatar suddenly died, making Jungkook and me the only survivors of our group.

The game got more and more intense and we fought till the very end. In the end, we won after checkmating everyone of the other team. Jungkook gave me a high five, while Taehyung sat on the ground, pouting like a cute baby.

"Another round!", Jungkook exclaimed with sparkling eyes.

After a few more rounds of the game, Jin called us to eat and we sat there happily and ate. Jin had cooked Jajangmyeon, a delicious dish Namjoon had recommend me when we had started to text. 

It was very loud at the table and I enjoyed everything about it. Namjoon glanced at me numerous times, which confused me but also sent me a tingling feeling in my stomach, as if butterflies were dancing in there. 

And I made a decision.

After the dinner, I took Namjoon's hand and guided him to his room. I didn't think about it when I took his long hand in my tiny one, but when I realized that I had done so, I didn't want to pull my hand away because the touch made my skin tingling and felt incredibly good. I was actually flustered by how much I liked holding his hand.

We sat on the bed, the proximity made me feel excited and flustered at the same time and I needed a moment to concentrate back on what I wanted to tell him.

"I didn't really want to speak about it first, but I now think it would be better to open up. You're the person I trust the most and I think you are the best option."

He looked deeply into my eyes and said "You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable with it, but thank you for trusting me this much." 

I had to take a deep breath before speaking again.

"When my mother came in December, she was really angry. But she didn't show it on her face, just in her actions. You have to know that she always keeps an expressionless and cold face, because I'm worthless to her. I'm just an item, a tool for her to reach success, nothing more. She doesn't want to let it seem as if she really was my mother.

But her actions... her actions spoke of her rage." I blinked repeatedly, trying to push back the tears and the memories.

Namjoon laid an arm around me and pulled me closer, so that I was almost sitting in his lap. Surprisingly it wasn't awkward at all, but comforted me and made me feel safe and I continued after calming down a bit.

"I'm sure you already know that I'm scared of her until this day. It's because she abused me, both verbally and physically. She called me useless all the time, and I believed that a long time. But she also... hit me and cut me with various knifes and scalpels out of her plastic surgery equipment."

It was very hard to admit this, and tears were spilling all over my cheeks. Namjoon formed with his hand circular motions on his back and I was thankful for having him by my side. When I looked at him, he angrily stared into thin air, but when he noticed my glance, his expression immediately softened.

And I needed this type of comfort for what was coming next. Slowly, I broke loose of our hug, immediately missing his comforting touch.

I pulled up the hem of my shirt with shaking hands, revealing all the hideous scars that were stretching themselves across my abdomen.

Namjoon inhaled loudly and I closed my eyes, afraid of his reaction. What if he would reject me because of the ugliness?

What I didn't expect were his warm fingers, carefully touching my abdomen and tracing over the scars light as feathers. I opened my eyes and watched him, as his gaze was focused on my belly, storms in his dark eyes, but also something else... 

Admiration? But why?

"I know it's ugly and hideous, I'm sorry to show it to you.", I said embarrassed and attempted to pull down the hem again.

But he stopped me by holding my hand. "Don't think that you are ugly because of the scars. Don't be ashamed of it. You survived your mother's abuse and you're here now. The scars are beautiful, because they are the proof that you survived, found a better way to live and became stronger."

He once again traced his large and delicate fingers over the scars and the sensation sent butterflies into my stomach. I was astonished and fascinated by his words. In every situation he was able to use his voice to transform ugly and bad things into something good and beautiful.

He looked deep into my eyes and said with sincerity "Don't think you are ugly. You are the most beautiful woman I ever met in my whole life, Viola."

___

1121 words

Challenge: Try not to fall in love with Namjoon:

FAILED!

Thank you so much for reading my book! Are you also proud of BTS at the GRAMMYs? They did so well, but it's a pity that they were neither nominated nor got to perform an own song. Nevertheless they worked hard and gave a great performance!🤩😍

(Let me tell you a secret: I didn't even know the GRAMMYs were taking place last night (it was night for me at least), until I woke up and had so many Twitter notifications about BTS at the GRAMMYs! I thought there were still a few weeks to go, I'm so dumb! I literally facepalmed this morning while realizing it!)😶😣🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm still a bit sick and it's not really great, so please stay warm and healthy! Thank you so much for reading, I purple you!!! Borrrrrrrrahae!!!💜💜💜