I NEED YOU NOW||KNJ||✔️

Chapter 43 (Fri, Apr 27, 2018)

Namjoon swallowed hard a few times, trying to control his emotions. Still I could see tears glittering in his eyes. What I had said to him had obviously touched him deeply.

"There's another thing I want to tell you.", he told me unexpectedly.

I expectantly waited for him to continue, even if it seemed as if it wasn't easy for him to put it into the right words.

"It's something I had wanted to tell you for quite a while now, but after Yoongi-hyung interrupted us a few days ago, I didn't find that courage, but now that we are alone-" He stopped his rant and swallowed hard. "Look, since I started to text you, I pretty fast developed care for you and I always felt the need to protect you. Our friendship got stronger and stronger and when we finally started to call each other, I was so happy because I got to hear your beautiful, gorgeous voice every day. I could listen to it for hours. 

But then, when you weren't able to text or call me, it felt as if a black hole was inside of me, swallowing all my emotions, making me feel so, so empty."

I lowered my head. Certainly, he would blame me for it.

"It's not your fault of course.", he continued and I looked at him surprised, our eyes finding each other, locking our gazes.

"Why would it be your fault, Viola? All this time I felt the urge to save you, to fight for you to get out of the mess and bring you here. And when I finally saw you for the first time, I was amazed by your beautifulness, and I learned back then that it was both on the outside of you and also on the inside."

I blushed heavily and lowered my head to avoid his soft eyes, but he took one of my hand in his hand and with the other he held my chin and pushed it up carefully, making us lock our gazes once again.

"Please look into my eyes and let me see your face. I don't want to waste precious life time not seeing your beauty."

This made me even more flustered, but I managed to keep my eyes locked with his.

He sighed contently, before continuing. "I was so glad when you agreed to come with me, even if I had kept my identity as a secret and never had told you my real name before. I was also happy when I saw how happy you were while speaking and playing with the other members. It felt as if you were already part of our little family since the beginning. It only annoyed me how extremely close you got with the members."

"But why?", I furrowed my eyebrows, not understanding.

"I will explain it now. I think it already was when we called and texted, but it wasn't really noticeable for me back then. But when I saw you for the first time, I immediately knew that I had developed feelings for you. Feelings- that are more than friendship."

It took my brain a while to understand. In the meantime Namjoon continued ranting, seemingly afraid of my reaction.

"I know that you won't return my feelings for you.", he said with his eyes closed.

"Namjoon...", I said hesitantly, not knowing if I should tell him how I felt about him.

"I know that I'm not perfect at all, I have many flaws...", he continued.

"Namjoon.", I said more firmly.

"Maybe you will even hate me for making you feel uncomfortable-"

"Namjoon!", I shouted and finally, finally he stopped his rant and looked at me slightly surprised because of my shouting. "Okay, it's my turn to tell you now, how I feel for you." I took all my courage and collected my words. "Since I started to text you, you were the only one I could tell my worries. You were the only person I could trust. You were always there to comfort me, and – believe me or not- you were multiple times the only one to prevent me from taking my own life and instead endure everything.

When you stood in the kitchen, I thought that you were the most beautiful human being ever existing in this universe and I even felt more in love with you when I found out that you and the humble and genuine RM from BTS were the same person.

And yes, I said it. I fell in love with you for everything, for your non-perfection, your little flaws, your kindness, your precious love for small things, your wisdom and so on. I could list my reasons to love you for years." I laughed shyly. "I was always afraid to tell you of my feelings because I thought that you would never love me back, but I'm very glad that you do."

He looked at me with sparkling eyes while taking my words in.

"So... you return my feeling for you?", he asked, still not able to believe it.

"Yes, I do.", I confirmed and smiled at him, glad that I finally had told him.

"And..." His eyes where wandering through the room. "if you love me... do you want to be my girlfriend?", he asked shyly.

My eyes widened at the question. "Yes.", I answered quietly but firmly.

His eyes lit up and he stood up from the chair in front of the desk, where he still had sat and pulled me into a quick embrace. I felt so secure and safe in his hug, and snuggled myself into him and his comforting warmth. We stood there for a few minutes, gaining coziness and safeness from each other's presence, until my loud yawn interrupted our cuddle session.

Namjoon laughed. "I think we both should go to sleep now."

"You're right.", I said but didn't want to let go of him, knowing that I would miss his touch.

He chuckled at my clinginess. "We can sleep in my bed again for this night. Just cuddling, okay?"

I nodded sleepily and he guided me to the bed, helping me to get in and tucking the blanket in. Then, he laid next to me, scooping me in his arms. Before I quickly fell asleep in his warm hug, I heard him mumbling "I love you so much, my precious girlfriend."

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1062 words

I hope this chapter made you happy. It took both of them so long to confess their feelings, omg but FINALLY!😑😊

There are two chapters left plus epilogue and then, I will be finished publishing my first story!!! I'm kinda proud of myself hihihi☺️

Thank you for reading my story, stay healthy, stay safe and stay hydrated! I purple you!!!💜💜💜