In Love With Alex Brightman

chapter thirty five

"Then he said they kissed. Like... he was so chill about it," I ranted, shoving my hands through my hair. "I feel so stupid. I knew I should've stopped Katie before she left. What was I thinking?" I sighed, massaging my scalp, roughly. To others, I probably looked like I just got fired from my job and was on the verge of tears. I was a mess.

Something about the situation made me feel embarrassed. It was cringe to think about my reaction. How I was acting from the start. But it wasn't like I was always a calm reactor. When I get horrible news, I flip.

"Sarah, I'm so sorry. I honestly can't believe this happened," Rory frowned through my phone screen.

"It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine," I assured more to myself, waving the reassurance off. I lifted my head to take another sip of my drink. The cold sensation of my iced coffee soothed my throat and filled my body up with more adrenaline.

I ended up in a coffee shop after mindlessly walking through the streets of the city. I was only worried about being anywhere else but Alex's place. That led me to a random shop with an empty table in the corner calling my name.

'Sarah, over here. Come sulk in the corner and reminisce about the events of today. It's a lovely day to think about how your life sucks.'

That table was an asshole.

So, I ended up sitting there with a bland iced coffee, shot up with espresso. My heart was going to be racing later.

The night was upon me, warned by the darkened sky. I was going to need to settle somewhere soon. I groaned internally just thinking about it. I thought about just leaving everything in the city and going right home to my parents house. They wouldn't ask why I was home because they would've wanted me there anyways.

"So, what did you say afterwards?"

"I yelled at him," I chuckled at the memory. I moved to pinch the bridge of my nose and sucked in an annoyed breath. "Then I said I needed to leave and process everything. That led me to wander the streets and end up here." I exclaimed, finally examining the place I was hiding at. It was a larger coffee shop sprinkled with a few customers here and there. It was quiet like a library, everyone minding their own business. I liked it.

Everyone should just ignore the emotionally disheveled girl in the corner of the shop. Nothing concerning about her.

"Today is just not my day," I laughed, slamming my hand against the table. "I've come to accept it," I nodded.

"Come on, Sarah. Saying that will only make it seem like a bad day."

"You don't understand, as our conversation continued, it just got worse and worse. My goodness! it was all happening at once," I defended, frantically. "I just need tomorrow to come sooner." I knew I wasn't getting any sleep that night, so I decided to, might as well, get drunk on espresso.

"Well, you have a photoshoot and interview with him tomorrow, right? What are you gonna do? Act like nothing happened or...?"

I cursed internally, completely forgetting about that. More news that I really didn't need to hear. I was hoping to get a long day of being alone and do nothing but watch bootlegs.

Is any day my day?

"I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I can't look at Alex without thinking of that ki—" I instantly stop myself, almost throwing up in my mouth. "Gross," I groaned, letting my forehead meet with the wood of the table. "Maybe I should just pretend none of this ever happened. I never introduced Katie to Alex, and they have no idea who each other are."

"You can't do that, Sarah," Rory scoffed.

"Why not? Do you want me to continue thinking about that disgusting kiss? What a sadist you are," I scolded, pointing at my laughing friend.