HERO

Introductions pt8: Don't Mention It

The Unbearable Heat, the Unbearable Emptiness, the Unbearable Distance, The Unbearable Scenery, This Unbearable Book, This Unbearable Suffering.

Yet through the pain and agony he still carried on, for he was desperate to save those that had nothing to do with this conflict between him and Avarice.

Saitama was gritting his teeth as his brain was aching like crazy, he felt as if his head was splitting in two and it all reminded him to before he gained his strength.

Before Crablante, before the job huntings, back to when he was in high school.

He remembered the time when he had no friends and got bullied daily, he remembered the same aching pain in his head, coming home to an exhausted worried mother and no father.

He remembered the times he would cry in the dark in his room, knowing nobody was going to come and talk to him, knowing that he couldn't depend on anybody emotionally.

For Saitama reality hurt, the truth stung hard, and even now the tears threatened to fall, but what could he do, just change his attitude "yeah better said then done" he always told himself that, always doubted himself, always talked himself out of change or doing something that could change his life for the better, yet he always manged to talk himself out of it.

Why did he do that, why did he always manage to do shit that always hurt himself, why did he do the things he did, was it his depression, was it his anxiety, or was it just the Fear of Denial, being rejected again, being pushed back and never getting acknowledged.

No matter what reason he found he could never deny that he was the problem, that it was all him, and deep inside he knew he hated himself for it.

He was currently running through the book once again to get to the next spire which was definitely Super Girl.

And as he traveled he thought about the short time that he knew her, the memories they had together.

From their first time meeting in which she threatened him and kicked his can a little bit until Diana showed up and knocked Super Girl out and then dragged him and Deadman to the giant space building in space.

He remembered how angry Supergirl was at the time, how serious Diana was, and how cool Deadman was.

And then he started getting a little depressed as so much has happened since he came here and just how different they all were now.

Supergirl wasn't angry as much from the last time he saw her, Diana lost her cold and seriousness replacing it with an air of maturity, responsibility, and exhaustion at least that's what he got from her from the last time he saw her which was about a couple of hours ago or days ago since it was hard to tell how many days had passed in the book or if time effected them at all.

He noticed all their changes yet why did he feel the less changed, he was welcomed back as a hero by the Justice League yet he didn't feel like a hero, he knew deep in his heart that he had not earned that title. He had been gone too long from society, too long from danger, and all for his own selfish wants, because of his own fear of letting others get hurt under his protection.

Failure held him under it's thumb, Fear by his neck, Hate ripping his mind in two, and doubt over his heart.

He tried to deny it further, tried to hide it away under lock-in key, but his attempts were all useless, for Dear Misery has waited too long. For the sand turned black and the sky turned white as Saitama was reduced to a child and his surroundings had changed to the home where he used to live with his mother.