His Unthinkable

SkSkSk

No sleep came that night, I just listened to the rain as it hit the roof. That should of soothed me but no luck. It just felt like something was missing. Rolling my eyes, I knew WHAT was missing. Better yet I knew WHO was missing. But it's fuck him at this moment. He really made me seem as if I was a hoe. Plus I'm not HIS, if I did want to be with somebody I could!

Snatching the covers off seeing I'm not getting any sleep no time soon. I draw a bubble bath since there was still 5 hours before we were leaving. Well it could just be me that was leaving, when that clock hit 6 I was gone. Tired of sitting like a duck, there will be a fight before I go back to that hell hole.

Dropping my clothes easing in the hot  deliciousness. My head went under while my thoughts went out the window.

But as soon as I came back up they were back swirling around in my head.

I was never really the one scared of anything coming up. How could I be?

Sighing softly

My biggest fear was..... never being genuinely happy at least once in my life.

Like the happiness you see in the movies. Where the girl's have a sparkle in there eyes, a soft smile adoring there lips.

Time will tell

The water runs cold before I get out, wrapping a towel around me. Looking back at the clock there was 3 hours left. I guess I should go ahead and get dressed. Throwing on a T-shirt and some jogging pants. Looking in the mirror bouncing my shoulders

"It'll do for now

Climbing up on the bed looking around. Trying to remember every little detail. There's no telling when I will be back. There's no telling if i will ever be back. My legs bend and my head drops leaning on them. Memories pass by of good times. My mama brushing then braiding my hair while we talk about the smallest things.

Daddy sitting on the bed teaching me how to tie a shoe.

Just memory after memory played, I missed them so dame much.

Can't dwell on the past, I gotta live for the now. That's what they would want, that's what I want.

Looking out the window the rain is still pouring down like there's no tomorrow. Feeling anxious I grab a blunt sparking it up. Time flies by when your high. I laugh at my Goofy thought. But there was 30 mins before the clock struck time. Gathering a few things in a backpack including the letter and necklace.

Remembering the bank but never paying attention once me and Daddy went inside. I would wonder off doing my own thing. Pretending to be a bank robber and holding the place up with my finger guns. There was a older man that would always play along while daddy did what he needed done. He would say

"Oh don't hurt me, you can have all the money"

He would pass me a bag that was filled with candy before putting his hands in the air.

Daddy would come from the back rolling his eyes while looking at the candy that was filled to the brim.

"You going to share?"

"As long as you don't tell mama"

🤞🤞🤞🤞

Taking one last look in the room, making sure everything was back in place as I found it.

"Goodbye"

Taking two fingers kissing them before placing it the handmade blanket laid across the bed.

When  stepping out the room it was silent. Wondering if they left me... But when I make it the living room everyone is standing by the door including a very tense King.