Doctor on the grid

10. I wish you would

I didn't think that opening my instagram would make me choke on my cereals at 6 am.

I nearly suffocated, but after coughing for three minutes straight I was able to tap on the pictures my tread was full of. These mainly showed Charles Leclerc with different fan girls, posing happily, hugging them, holding his Shanghai Grand Prix trophy high.

My chest became heavy as my eyes were glued to a photo of him holding a beautiful model looking young girl close. She had long, light brown, almost golden coloured hair and bronze, sun tanned skin. All of this wrapped in a tight, sparkly dress.

I looked to myself - to my hands dry from disinfectants, to my messy, curly hair and my purple pyjamas which had fucking puppies on it.

The caption said it was one of his previous girlfriends, and the poster suspiciously asked whether if they are together again.

I closed the application with a grunt and threw the device on the couch.

I won't be bothered about a guy who I wasn't supposed to be seeing anyway. Yet, I was dying to know if they are actually together or not with that girl.

And what if I stayed in China for his victory party? Would have we spent the night together again? Probably.

Anyway, he never responded to my last text to him saying I'm going home with the team.

I scoffed on the thought. There's better not think about Charles Leclerc and his love interests.

I exhaled long and I decided to go for a run to clear my head.

On Wednesday we arrived to Baku, and by the time of the free practices one could feel the atmosphere in the team was still tense, but hopeful at the same time. The cars performed well, managed to secure a solid 2nd and 3rd best times after Hamilton.

Media day was luckily more peaceful than on the previous weekend. Vicky didn't accept any invitation even remotely dangerous for the guys. We couldn't risk another injury. Of course the guys vinced between the unnumbered interviews, complaining about how boring and torturing those were. I always tried to remain unnoticed at the back and smiled supportively every time one of them looked at me.

I still felt pangs of conscience, and tried to help as much as I could with the preparations. I stocked up our office before Lee even arrived, I changed the dressing on Daniel's arm daily, and visited Max in his room to encourage him or just to joke around five times by Friday.

Of course the first time I dared to leave the paddock, I saw Charles.

I was with Max and Vicky on our way to get lunch at a local place next to the circuit. We walked along the paddock and enjoyed the sunshine. It was hot, the sunny weather made us cheerful.

I wore my sunglasses and tried not to glare too obviously when we reached the Ferrari Home. They had built a wide terrace again and seemed like we weren't the only one enjoying the good weather. Nearly all of the Ferrari team members were sitting outside, chatting loudly - including Charles.

I saw him noticing us, but I pretended not to see him - a very grown-up thing to do I know, but seeing him with partying with other girls hurt more than I admitted to myself, so I held my head up, and put my arm gently on Max's shoulder.

"Hey Max," I turned to him. "Promise me you win this time," I asked him smiling wide at him.

"Well Clara, you can bet I will" he looked at me determined. "Hamilton is good, but he's not god." he said. "I must beat him," he added.

Yeah and also Leclerc, please please please? - I thought.

I felt Charles's eyes on me long after we walked by the Ferrari terrace.