Not This Time

Your First

Claude stared at her in shock, making Byleth wonder if he really didn't think she'd actually forgive him. His verdant eyes were wide as he gaped at her.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Teach..." Claude gently loosened his grip on her hand, but Byleth kept their fingers intertwined. It felt...nice. What? Sothis scoffed, rolling her eyes. What's wrong with you? Drop him. He's just playing you. You don't know him. Claude's eyes dropped to their interlocked hands, a stunned look on his face before glancing back upward. "You...You...You're smiling."

"What?" Byleth brought her free hand to her mouth immediately, perplexed. A smile felt so...strange. It hadn't been one of those fake, small ones. Sparks continued to go off in her chest. "Oh, Claude, you're...you're right! Oh my-y-you're right!"

Byleth clasped his hand tighter, the smile only growing. Why was she happy? She honestly wasn't sure. Was it because of Claude's apology, or because of what he'd said about caring for her? Oh, whatever! All that mattered was that she could finally experience joy. Claude finally grinned, enjoying her apparent excitement.

"I told you I'd make you happy," Claude said softly, and Byleth noticed his own genuine smile. For once, they were both actually happy; not just faking for someone or something else. "Well? Was it worth it?"

"Yes! Yes, yes, thank you so much," Byleth blurted out, swinging their hands back and forth between them. It was at this moment where Byleth realized they were still holding hands...and that was sort of inappropriate, considering he was a student, and she was a teacher. She cautiously let go of his hand, immediately feeling those tingly specks disappear. "Er...Sorry, Claude. It's just that...you know. I've never felt anything..."

"No, Teach, I enjoyed it," Claude reassured her, rubbing his hands together. He looked flushed; his face was red and his smile was almost lazier than usual. "I'm happy to see you like that. You should do it more often."

"Well...you make me happy...so that means you need to keep coming around," Byleth replied giddily, bathing in the last moments of her happiness. She could feel it wearing off slowly already. "Thank you."

"...No problem, Teach. I'm glad to be your first."

———

Byleth walked around the monastery with a happy look on her face. Sure, she couldn't smile, but the thought of how she'd been able to experience joy was gratifying.

Are you giddy because he told you he cares about you? It's a lie. You know that, Sothis reminded cautiously. Yet..you say he's sincere now. Okay, fine. I'll follow your judgment.

"My teacher!" Edelgard exclaimed as Byleth passed her and Monica. Hubert was gone (surprisingly). Edelgard strode over to Byleth, a concerned look on her face. "I'm glad to see that you're alright."

"Yes- wait," Byleth frowned slightly, "why wouldn't I be okay?"

"I feared I might have been making a mistake by leaving you with Claude," Edelgard elaborated. "I believe I have figured it out. He is a danger to your mental health, and-"

"He made me smile today," Byleth interjected, feeling defensive all of a sudden. She furrowed her brow, curious as to why Edelgard was so fixated on him being the problem. "I...I think he's helping me."

"He...Made you smile?" Edelgard frowned in confusion, her pink lips parting in a small 'o' of surprise. "Is that...not something normal?"

"...No. Not really," Byleth admitted awkwardly. She had figured Edelgard already knew about her lack of emotion. "That...well...quite honestly, that was the first time I've ever really been...happy."

"Pardon, but...you have really been unable to feel happiness..?"

"...I couldn't feel anything," Byleth shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "..Can't. Cant feel anything. But...the first emotion I've ever felt was anger when we were beat. Then I felt disgust, when he showed me this drink...and just now, I felt happiness. So I think he's helping me."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Edelgard frowned. "I thought we were trusting each other."

"I honestly thought you knew," Byleth shrugged indifferently, not catching onto Edelgard's obvious disappointment. "I know you don't trust him, but I've never felt that way with anyone before."

"I see," Edelgard pursued her lips, her lavender eyes narrowed. "...I'm sorry, Professor. I'd actually like to be alone with Monica at the moment."

"As you wish," Byleth obliged, nodding at Monica before turning away. She continued throughout the monastery, leaving Edelgard with Monica.

As she continued on, she passed Dimitri. He waved her over, and Byleth obliged.

"Hello, Professor," Dimitri greeted politely, a pleasant and innocent smile on his face. "I must say, you look...different today."

"Is it so obvious?" Byleth asked, slightly curious as to why everyone seemed to notice. "Well, oh well. How are you today, Dimitri?"

"Me? I'm fine. Just looking forward to this upcoming mock battle," Dimitri addressed this month's battle with a determined expression. "I'm sure you understand, Professor. Losing to Claude of all people..."

"What's wrong with Claude?"

"Hm? Nothing," Dimitri shook his head in slight confusion at Byleth's defensive tone. "But he's a schemer, and he beat you with that knowledge! Unacceptable."

"I forgot about that incoming battle," Byleth confessed, feeling a rush as she remembered the opportunity to fight. Then, she felt a sinking feeling in her chest. She'd have to fight Claude... "I would feel terrible if I hurt someone. Maybe I should sit out, Manuela and Hanneman aren't participating..."

"No, Professor! We've been training extra hard. We can take you on just fine. The Blue Lions are incredibly strong."

"If you insist."

"...Professor, I know we have not talked much," Dimitri started, an earnest and genuine expression on his face. "But I would appreciate it if we could talk more often."

"If you would like," Byleth nodded, surprised that he also wished to talk with her. Was she that interesting? Way to sound arrogant, Sothis snorted. "I would like to get you know you better as well, Dimitri. I look forward to this mock battle."

Kind of.

"Me too, Professor. May the best house win!"