Not This Time

In Need of a Distraction

Days passed...and Byleth felt her heart continue to ache.

As each second passed, the pain grew steadily worse. At this point, death wasn't seeming quite so terrible; it would have been a sweet release from the constant pain she was in.

Byleth found her mind constantly wandering onto the topic of the Alliance...and of Claude. Every moment that she wasn't doing anything, her thoughts traveled to him. Was he injured- wait, scratch that. She knew he was injured. But how bad was it? Surely they would have been notified if Claude had died or something, but just because he wasn't dead didn't mean he wasn't in pain.

Was his injury hurting him every moment, just like how her heart hurt her? Was he thinking about her in every moment? Probably not. Byleth doubted he even had the luxury of taking time to himself. Besides, he probably wasn't as hooked onto the thought of her as he was...

After all, Claude didn't need to worry about saving her life. That was why Byleth was so hung up on him, wasn't it? She had to ensure his safety, even when he wasn't on her side. Claude had more important things to worry about than her, just one of his many friends...

Byleth hoped he was thinking of her, though. While Byleth had been able to make friends, it was only because of him unlocking her emotions. Claude had been her very first real friend, and she missed him. She missed his laugh, his smile, the way her heart sparked when he held her hand...

She remembered when that feeling had first made her black out. How she had detested that exploding feeling. Now, she longed to feel that again. After all, she'd probably been her happiest at that point! Even though her chest had sparked, it was better than it aching...and it had still been somewhat pleasant, aside from that one time when she had blacked out.

Damn, what am I doing right now? I can't be thinking about him like this...

Byleth knew that all too well. After all, they were technically enemies. She should have been thinking about how to kill him! Instead, all she could picture was his gentle smile as he pulled her along into a waltz...

Enough. Byleth couldn't think about that, not when the circumstances were so dire. She needed a distraction from the day, from her thoughts, and from Claude. So, what does one do to distract themselves?

Whoosh!

Byleth's powerful Sword of the Creator swung through the air powerfully, and her attack was enough to send a shockwave through the training grounds. Byleth wiped the sweat from her brow, helping her opponent up from the ground.

Nothing better to do besides hone her skills, of course...

"Oh, oh! My turn, Professor!" Caspar was quick to jump in next, his gauntlets already on his hands as he energetically awaited. Byleth and Edelgard had made the decision not to tell the other students in order not to worry them. "I'm gonna best ya today!"

"We'll see about that," Byleth put a halfhearted smile on her face in an attempt to provide to his challenge, and raised her sword.

He came at her with resolve in his eyes, concentration filling his body as he swung his fists at her. Byleth swung her sword out to block, and his hand collided with her powerful Hero's Relic. His leg swung under, trying to knock her feet out from under her, but Byleth jumped over his leg and swung her sword downward.

He managed to sidestep, but not soon enough. She just barely nicked his arm, sending a steady stream of blood trailing down his tanned skin. He panted in frustration, and his arm swung upward as he jumped toward her.

Byleth leaned backward, but the gauntlet almost hit her. She held her breath as it just missed her nose, and she swung out her sword out, knowing it would hit him.

Her sword hit him square in the head, the flat of her blade knocking against him. Caspar fell to the ground with a thunk, a discouraged look on his face.

"The winner is the Professor!"

"Good fight," Byleth held out her hand to help Caspar up, and he took it reluctantly. He patted his head, wincing. Byleth held her hand out, healing him of his wounds. "You're too predictable, though. You let your emotions get the better of you. You can't act cocky."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right..."

"Can I tell you something, though?" Byleth asked, and Caspar nodded eagerly. Byleth sheathed her sword. "You might be stronger than me. But it's the strategy that matters. Do you remember the very first mock battle? I lost because I charged in headfirst. Claude outsmarted me. It's not always about strength, Caspar. Remember that."

"Yeah, you're right," Caspar sighed, looking at his fists. Byleth felt her heart ache at the mention of Claude... "Hey, Professor? Do you think that all our old friends killed people, too...? Actually, that's a silly question."

"Well, I hope not," Byleth replied softly, only thinking about one particular person. She knew he meant it in a broader sense, considering all of the Lions and Deer in the fight, but... "...One can only hope."

"...I had to kill Mercedes during the Battle at Gronder," Caspar admitted gravely, a depressed look on his face. "Neither of us would back down. I know what I'm doing is right, but..."

"...I'm sorry, Caspar," Byleth replied empathetically. She knew exactly how he was feeling... "I don't have the answers you're looking for....I can't explain it either."

"It's okay, Professor," Caspar shrugged. "I know it's hard on you too. I just hope I can steel myself like Edelgard."

Yeah, like Edelgard...make myself immune to the death I cause. Byleth frowned. That wasn't fair to Edelgard to blame her; she was trying to make the world a better place. Still, did Claude have a point? Would this have been able to be solved diplomatically, or was that just his wish?

"Yeah...that would be...nice."