Not This Time

A Drag

The hours passed so slowly.

After their inevitable victory at Deirdru, Claude was now...gone. Now, Byleth remained despondent, merely staring at the ground in her room. Byleth had requested to be alone, but now the silence just felt so hollow.

The silence just brought back her depressed thoughts, the thoughts and memories of Claude being gone.

He'll always be with you, A small, childish voice said soothingly inside of her head. It kind of sounded like Sothis, but Byleth knew better. Just like me.

Byleth shook her head in stubborn refusal at herself. He's not here right now. I might not ever see him again...

...Oh, for crying out loud. Look up!

Look...up?

Byleth followed just those instructions, glancing upward. As she looked at her desk, her eyes fell upon something in particular.

The bottle of snake wine...

"...You know, Teach...Why don't you just keep it?" Claude suggested, taking the bottle from his uniform and holding it out toward her. Immediately, she felt a fresh wave of disdain and disgust flow through her. It was...intoxicating. "That way, you'll be able to feel an emotion at any time. I know it's not positive, but.."

"I'll take it."

The bottle had always given that purpose, yes, but now as she looked at it, all she felt was sadness. It was another reminder of Claude being gone. Byleth stood from her bed, holding the bottle of wine in her hand.

At least she had something left of him.

Something to remember him by...Byleth's eyes suddenly widened in realization. She began to panic, searching through her pocket before finally finding it.

Her ring.

The one Jeralt had given her...He had told her that when she found someone she loved as much as he loved her mother, she should give it to them. Byleth had her opportunity-

-and she had missed it.

Byleth cursed, angrily throwing the ring on the floor in frustration. She was lucky enough to have something that reminded her of him; he had nothing. Again. He was left alone, just like he had been for those five years. Why must Claude suffer?

This wasn't fair to him. It wasn't. It wasn't fair to anyone, really. Edelgard was left heartbroken, but at least she was with Byleth. Claude had confessed, but he had to leave. How...How in the world was this fair!?

Byleth wanted to scream.

She didn't want anyone else, but Claude was gone. He had tried to encourage her that it was okay to find someone else, but was Byleth just supposed to get over him like that?

He left. He could have stayed, but his business is more important than I am...

No.

Byleth couldn't think like that. She couldn't be angry at him. If she was, then she wasn't being fair to him at all. Byleth herself had been missing for five years and he had dealt with it! It wasn't fair to be mad at him.

Instead, Byleth jus found herself saddened by his absence. That was far more appropriate, though. Sadness was understandable. Anger was selfish. She knelt down on the floor, fumbling around until she found the ring. She slipped it back into her pocket before plopping back down on her bed, defeated.

Knock, knock, knock.

"My teacher?"

It was Edelgard...and while Byleth was grateful for the support, this was not the time for it. Byleth didn't want to be comforted, she wanted to sulk while she was alone.

Unfortunately, Edelgard wasn't going to give her a choice. She continued knocking on the door, and when Byleth refused to stand and open, Edelgard had had enough. The door was kicked down quickly by Edelgard, but Byleth couldn't even bring
herself to care.

"My teacher, I will not allow you to stay here and mope," Edelgard frowned, sitting down next to Byleth. "We have a goal to accomplish. There is no time to waste. That being said...I...I am aware you are no longer happy here."

Byleth remained silent. She wanted to protest, she wanted to claim that she was happy to be fighting Rhea...but the man who gave her emotions, the man she loved was gone.

"...Regardless of how you feel about me now...I want you to know that I will be with you. I still need you by my side," Edelgard said, placing a comforting hand on Byleth's shoulder. "I will respect your wishes, as I know you only long for Claude, but...I must say this one last time. For my own sanity...and then I promise I shall never speak of this again. I will forget this ever happened."

Edelgard took a deep breath, a saddened look in her lavender eyes.

"I love you, my teacher. There. Now, forget I said that. Your happiness will come before mine...because I am happy when you are happy."

"...Claude isn't here," Byleth shook her head, looking up from the ground. No matter how sad she was, she wasn't about to let Edelgard blame herself. "I'm not happy, but it's not your fault. Your love isn't making me sad or anything..."

"No, but I can feel your pity."

"I'm not pitying you. I'm not foolish enough for that," Byleth chuckled mirthlessly, taking Edelgard's hand in hers. "El, I love you too...but not in that way. I'm sorry. But I hope you know that it's not your fault. If my mind could have chosen, it would have chosen you. From day one, my brain told me to choose the Black Eagles, to choose you because you were intriguing."

"...But your heart chose Claude. I suppose there is nothing I could have done about that," Edelgard sighed. "If nothing else, I suppose that makes me feel a bit better. Thank you for sharing that, my teacher."

Byleth forced a small smile on her face.

"...We're going to get through all of this together. We're going to kill Rhea..."

"...And I will help you find Claude," Edelgard finished. She took her teacher's hand in hers, a determined expression on her face. "We will do it together."