Not This Time

Ways of Coping

"My teacher...you're crying. I didn't know you were capable of that."

Byleth shrugged, wiping at her eyes. She hadn't meant for anyone to see her crying, but Byleth was just so glad that her father was alright. She didn't think anyone would find her in the greenhouse, but here Edelgard was.

"My apologies. That might have seemed rude," Edelgard shrugged, but Byleth shook her head in disagreement. "...Why are you crying? Jeralt is alive."

"I suppose they're happy tears," Byleth replied, not quite sure herself. She was glad that an emotion had finally been caused by her loving father. "I can't seem to stop."

"...What do you intend to do now?"

"...I'm going to ask my father," Byleth said uncertainly. "Perhaps we'll leave the monastery and go into hiding, even if it means...I'd have to leave you."

"Professor...do you intend on standing still and letting the world pass by without your input?" Edelgard's expression hardened as her lavender eyes narrowed. "I saved him because I know you'll appreciate it. But I cannot say it was the right decision if you cannot move forward and fight."

"Excuse me?" Byleth wasn't about to roll over and just accept what Edelgard was saying. Maybe previously she would have, not realizing how ominous Edelgard sounded, but now Byleth had feelings. The idea of her father dying was too much to bare. "My father almost died. This isn't safe. Neither of us are going to stay in a place that's unsafe. Now, if you'd do me a favor, and leave, that'd be greatly appreciated."

"...My teacher...There is a choice to be made," Was all that Edelgard had to say, not looking as if she was phased by Byleth's speech. "I hope you make the right one."

Byleth stood in her father's room as Edelgard left,  now slightly irritated. Was it so bad that she had cried of happiness? Was that an act of weakness?

"I thought I might find you here, Teach-Er...Are you alright?"

Byleth glanced up from the floor to see Claude looking at her, all concerned. She shrugged in a small motion, and he walked over to her hastily after shutting the door.

"Well, now I know that something's wrong," Claude kept his worried gaze focused on her, gently grasping her hand in his. Now that Edelgard had pointed out the hand holding, Byleth wasn't sure how to feel about it...but she liked it. "Are you okay?"

"...Is it so wrong of me to think about putting my father's life first!?" Byleth exploded, fury pouring from her lips before she could stop it. "My father almost died. Is it wrong of me to think about leaving this monastery, where Rhea is clearly thinking of using me for something? Where everyone wants to exploit me!! Something is going to happen, why should I stay here where my family and I are endangered!?"

"Nothing's wrong with you putting your father first," Claude frowned, glancing downward briefly in slight sadness. "It's good to do that, actually...family should always come first. But, wait, hold on. You're thinking about leaving...?"

"I don't want my father to be in trouble!"

"Teach, I understand that, but..." Claude hesitated for a brief moment before continuing with a pained expression. "This is probably the best way you'll ever be able to catch those people who tried to kill your father. You'll be able to get your revenge. I know you're scared, but...your father will be okay. He's the famous Blade-Breaker, remember?"

"His skill didn't stop him from being attacked by surprise," Byleth reminded him, panic only rising in her tone. Claude pulled her into a tight hug, making her eyes widen. "Claude, what-"

"...Maybe it's selfish, and I know I should be putting your ideas and Jeralt's safety first.." Claude muttered into her ear quietly as he held her closer. "...But I want you to stay. I want you here, Teach. As my...friend. Realistically speaking, Jeralt would be safest here, too. Surrounded by capable knights, and students like me...he would be safe here."

"Claude..."

"...Sorry. I know I said I wouldn't do this anymore," Claude released her, looking at the hand that he'd used to hold Byleth's. "I just...I don't want you to leave. I'm sorry for being selfish. It's your decision, and your father's life is the best factor. I just...I don't know. I'm sorry. But...will you think about what I said before you make a decision? I really...like you, Teach. I'd hate to see you leave."

"...Okay," Byleth whispered, glancing at her own hand. "...I will."

"Good. Oh, and Teach?" Claude asked, and Byleth nodded in impatient waiting. After all, she needed to go talk to her father! He shrugged, shooting her a weak smile.

"There's nothing wrong or weak about taking a moment to feel something, even if it's fear. Feeling just means you're human...and that's what you've wanted all this time, isn't it?"