Not This Time

El

"How do I feel about you?"

Byleth had to repeat the question again since she was completely taken off guard. They had gone from one topic to the other so quickly! Byleth hadn't expected that to be what was coming out of Edelgard's mouth. The Emperor nodded, looking soft for once. Byleth cleared her throat, shrugging.

"You are determined, strong, and incredibly-"

"No. My teacher, I mean..." Edelgard paused, before regaining her courage once more. "I mean...in the sense of me kissing you. How did you feel about me doing that?"

"Ah."

Byleth was silent.

I don't know.

The moment had been happy! Well, kinda. Byleth remembered the sparks flying in her chest, but she also remembered the pain that had racked her body from the embrace-

Oh, forget about the moment! How did Byleth feel about Edelgard kissing her in itself!?

Byleth didn't...didn't know.

She barely knew what love was. Her mother had been dead since Byleth was born, and Jeralt hadn't exactly seen any new flings. There was no romance in the monastery, but Byleth did know that kissing usually was a sign of love. That was about it, but she knew that. Everything had been happening in a blur, and in between starting a war, worrying about Claude, and trying to manage her aching chest, Edelgard's kiss hadn't exactly been at the top of her mind.

But now, now she needed to think about that! How did it feel...?

It felt...nice. It felt warm and safe, and Byleth had certainly felt pleasant thrills run up and down her spine.

"It was nice," Byleth said softly. Before she could manage to say anything further, her chest ached wildly, and she gasped in pain. Trying not to worry Edelgard or herself, she quickly got ahold of herself again and tried to smile. "Y-Yeah."

"Oh," Was all that Edelgard said, her cheeks growing redder. She fidgeted in her bed, holding Byleth's hand tighter. "My teacher, I know I said I would wait until the war was over...but I simply cannot hold back if we are to discuss...certain other circumstances. So, you..."

"Edelgard, I'm sorry. I honestly don't know," Byleth replied quietly, placing her free hand on her aching chest. "I don't know what...what that even is. I'm not right for it, Edelgard-"

"El," Edelgard corrected quickly. "That is...That is what my closest friends call me."

"El," Byleth tried it out on her tongue, liking how it sounded. She smiled distractedly, clicking her tongue against her cheek. "I'm sorry, El. It's not that I didn't like it...I just don't know how to do that. Also, that sort of thing...isn't exactly on my mind right now."

"Right! Right, of course," Edelgard said hurriedly, becoming flustered as she used her other hand to scratch the back of her neck. "Sorry. I just...ahem. Well. I am...happy to hear that. Anyway. My teacher...I was just making sure that...that was preventing you from going all out."

"What?"

"That thing we were talking about?" Edelgard repeated, and Byleth nodded slowly in slight confusion. "Right. I was just making sure that those...feelings were not clouding your judgment about what has to be done with the Alliance."

"Ah...right..?" Byleth was not following the conversation any longer. For being a Professor, Byleth was definitely not very astute when it came to her emotions. "Wait. What do you mean..?"

"Well, I just needed to know that those feelings you may have about...about Claude were not making you have second thoughts."

At this, Byleth felt the ache in her chest grow stronger. Byleth's eyes widened in surprise, as she began to choke on air. Edelgard looked at her worriedly as Byleth began to cough.

"My teacher, are you alright!?"

"Y-Yeah! I just..." Byleth hesitated, finally quelling her coughing fit to a quiet little hack every now and then. "...I was having second thoughts. You're right, they are because of Claude...it's because I don't want to see him hurt. He's my friend."

"Yes, your friend..." Edelgard frowned. "But Professor..I do not think you quite understand what I am saying. From what I can see, anyway...You two seem to be...very close," Edelgard sighed. This hurt her to say it, but her Professor needed to hear it. "...Do you see him like how I see you?"

"What?"

"I am sorry to have to say this, my teacher...but the next best move is for us to take back the Alliance. Regardless of your previous feelings...we will have to fight them...and him once and for all. And most likely...kill those who would oppose us."

At this, Byleth's chest exploded in furious pain. The Professor toppled forward out of her chair, screaming in pain on the floor. She could hear Edelgard gasping in shock and worry right before Byleth blacked out completely.