Who I Am (Infinite x Reader)

Chapter 45 ~ Dyspnea

I can barely breath, I'm wheezing. Every sharp intake of air never gave me the relief I needed. A hack of coughing rattles my wounded body, pain from my entire chest inflaming.

It was impossible to be quiet when I kept coughing like this. I shiver and tug the blanket (Y/N) had gifted me around my shoulders tighter. Why was I so cold? It has to be blood loss.

   I stare at the door still, forcing my eyes to stay open even though they've wanted to seal shut for hours. I was afraid someone was going to wander into the supply closet, not that any footsteps have even done so much as walk by.

I cough again, thick fluid coming up my throat and filling my mouth.

I cannot breathe in this, I think, hands coming up to my broken mask. I vowed to never take it off until I was alone with no one to see the wrecked face that belonged to the fool I used to be, but I was too delirious at this point to even care.

I try to be gentle, but nonfiltered air was such a relief I almost tossed the gauze wrapped mask to the side. It was still hard to breathe, but at least it was a little better.

I snatch one the morphine packets from the floor again and jab it into my shoulder, entering painkiller into my bloodstream. Before I had wanted to deal with the pain and consequences of what I had done... but now... I just want to drift off and be able to see all my family again.

Pathetic, I don't deserve that.

The pain is too much... but this is my punishment.

I cough again, fear of never being able to apologize to my friends for what I had done before their deaths beginning to circle in to torment me.

My hand instantly cups over my white muzzle when I hear voices outside the door, coming from in the hallway. Paranoia that they were coming to get me makes my eyes go wide.

"...She took off for several days without a word and then comes back with just over two days until she's promoted to sergeant looking like shit! A clean gunshot through the stomach, cuts almost digging into the femurs, bruises on the throat, dehydration, what the hell happened?!"

I recognized that angry tone. It was their leader. Knuckles.

"O-okay... take a deep breath, Knuckles," a calmer voice said. Silver the Hedgehog. The one I... I had mutilated. "Getting angry isn't going to solve anything."

"And what will being calm about this do?!" There was a silence for a moment. A heavy sigh. "Ugh... Do you know who you're talking to when you say 'don't get angry'? I'm trying to stay collected, Silver, but it's really hard when there's no way to know what happened."

A series of coughs were starting to arise in me. I bit down my jaw, squeezing my hand tighter over my mouth, praying that they wouldn't come.

"I, I know. And that is very concerning."

"I... just don't know what to do with her, she's always so secretive... I try to include her and make her feel welcome, but I don't know how to talk to her half the time."

   I wanted to hack my lungs out. It felt like I was choking, but I mustn't make a sound, they are right outside.

"Yeah... that's why I'm nervous around her, I just don't know what to do. She doesn't really share much. And I feel so bad, because it's obvious there a lot going on—but I just feel like I can't do anything. The only one she seems to even be friendly to is Shadow, and she had tried to shoot him the first time they met."

If they hear me, I'm dead, and (Y/N) will pay the penalties.

"I know the war's over, Silver, but... I'm gonna be honest. I'm... really stressed out right now," Knuckles chuckles hopelessly. "There's the cleanup, reconstruction, getting civilians back to their homes, growing back farmland, recovery for all the traumatized soldiers, getting bodies and death reports back to their families, filing reports, Eggman's out there, Infinite's missing, this 'Phantom' is on the loose, and then I've got all this drama here—"