「Dreaming For Stars」TPNxReader

49} Teach Me

(That poem just fits ^ )

Book 6} Chapter 49

Teach Me
教えて

(you guys don't know the pain in me when I saw that the Japanese translation was pronounced "Oshiete" and how I went "HIDEEE")

▌│█║▌║▌║ Reader's POV ║▌║▌║█│▌

"No, damn it... why now?" I muttered as I doubled over.
I lied to them.
I told them I forgot something.
Why did I lie?

We had all gone back to eat.
But I knew something was off.
I told Sonju I dropped something and headed off around the paths.

It was a mental breakdown.
I've had enough to know.

Tears filled my vision as I clutched onto the pill bottle in my pocket.
I let a silent scream out as tears continued to run down my face.
My breathing increased along with my heartbeat.
I sat down, gripping my leg as I cried into my knees.

Thoughts flooded my head.
Thoughts I didn't think of myself.
I never got used to it. 
The horrible fact I couldn't control my thoughts hurt me itself.

I don't know how long I was there, with puffy red eyes. I just knew that when I stood up, I would fall again.
And that I had no control over my thoughts.

"Y/n!" a voice then exclaimed.

"Norman?" I asked in desperation. He was always there to help me. No, he was gone now. It couldn't be him.

"Y/n," the voice said softer as their arms wrapped around me.
"M-Mujika," I muttered, but buried my head in her shoulder, sobbing.

She let me cry on her shoulder for a while.
"What happened?" she asked softly, running her hand through my hair.
"I asked Sonju where you went after you didn't show up after a while and he said you went through the paths. I thought you got lost."

"I-I'm sorry," I muttered. It's the only thing I could think to say.
"It's okay... you... you don't have to tell me what happened," she told me, giving me a smile.

And I did.

I started taking the Anti-depressants in Grace Field.
I tried explaining why I was sad
but nothing could come out
That was when I realized,
I didn't know why either

Seems selfish, huh?
Barely anyone noticed I was there.
They knew I was a person,
they just didn't bother to care.

Norman did.
Ray did.
and Emma did.

But they were more of the trio.
I just... followed them.

I'll never say they weren't my friends.
They are...
But to them, I'm just an add-on in their group.

Norman was the one to find me in pain.
I think that's the moment I realized I really liked him.
Because he was so gentle and kind.
Hm, like a lamb.
(He even looks like one-)

FLASHBACK

I clutched my stomach as I sat on the floor of the bathroom.
I let out a sigh.
It was another mental breakdown.

Collected from all the stress I had.
There was something off, I could never figure it out.

I stayed there for a while to calm down.
And well, I didn't seem to notice how long I stayed there.