the quarantine diaries | Narry Storan AU

day 2

"Hi, Theo.

It's the second day of quarantine. I woke up willing to listen to Selena Gomez's most recent album. Rare is good. Not perfect, some of its songs may sound a little bit dated in a few months, but it's a good listen once you put it as a random playlist to hear while you're doing home things. Things such as washing the dishes, eating your breakfast, sweeping the floor of parts of the house that are near windows... you know, the kind of things you do when you have, literally, nothing else to do.

Clean my apartment is such an underrated therapy. You should try it in the future.

Once the album stopped playing in my phone, I figured out Lewis was calling me. We talked a bit about the weather (such an irony, I know), the crazy people still going outside (IS IT SO HARD TO STAY INSIDE YOUR FUCKING HOME?) and the music industry slowly cancelling all of the festivals and our appearances on television because of the coronavirus. He didn't dare to ask about Harry - he knows what happened and he wouldn't be so dumb to touch in the topic again.

Last time it happened was a fucking hurricane.

Now I'm sitting on my desk table, writing it for you, because I have nothing else to do. I mean, I have a live stream with my fans at 5PM, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be the best part of the day. What I really mean is, I don't have bigger things to do. I'm afraid my album is going to be forgotten with time, and I really worked my ass off for it. Executives of my label say there's nothing else we can do, and I know it too.

Jesus. Stop coronavirus now.

Lately I've been thinking about write new things again. But I don't feel like I'm ready for it now. Heartbreak Weather was already a hard one to do, even the fun songs, and every time I sit down to think about new lyrics, I have some kind of panic attack. It almost seems like he went away and took my inspiration with him.

My mom is calling me now. Wait a minute.

I'm back.

She said she was worried about me because I haven't called her ever since the self-quarantine started. Damn, she really knows me to this point. That's when I broke down in tears. And I cried for him, for the very first time ever since the day it happened. 

It actually seems like no time has passed at all, and I'm still left at his door, with a bouquet of roses in my hand, trying to make him open the door for me and tell me what the fuck was going on between us. The memory is so vivid on my mind. I wish I could let it go, just for a moment, just so I can feel some peace of mind.

Great. Now I have to take a quick bath before the Instagram live stream so I can wipe my tears.

Love, Niall."