the quarantine diaries | Narry Storan AU

day 4

"Hello, Theo.

I know it's almost midnight now, but I had a very busy day. Some radio stations called me so I could be interviewed about the recent happenings in the world, my new album and the good side of staying at home. Remember when I had high expectations of enjoying my time alone at my apartment on the first day of self-quarantine?

Yeah, those expectations are very low now.

I woke up late. It was almost 11:30AM when my eyes finally gave up on me and made me get up from my bed. I had a late breakfast, a late lunch, I didn't even take a shower before the interviews. I was a complete mess in the eyes of the public. My fans are probably making jokes about how my hair was not it today, but I don't care. I mean, I did care a little bit, until I remembered they like me the way I am and I don't have to worry about my hair, my face or anything like that. Now I totally laugh about it.

The most important thing of today — and I'm not being selfish or resentful about it —, is that I was so worried about other stuff that I barely saw memories of Harry coming back to my mind. I had a glance of memory, a minute of silence to think about it, when I was eating my dinner and listening to Fleetwood Mac in the vinyl player. And I suddenly thought of that snowy day of December 2016. And I swear I could see his fucking handsome smile in front of me, just as if I was there in Cheshire again, throwing snowballs at him and watching him not even try to run away — because he wanted to be hit. 

You know, something like Augustus Waters said in The Fault of Our Stars: "It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."

But the moment went away from my mind as the song shifted on the player, and I started remembering of my family in Mullingar. I miss them. I miss your father, your mother. I miss my mother and my father. I miss you, Theo. Every day in this quarantine makes me feel like I'm losing another day with you. If I knew we would have to lock ourselves at home, I would have flown to your home and I'd stay with you. All of you.

You are the ones who make me forget about everything. Literally.

Love, Niall."