the quarantine diaries | Narry Storan AU

day 31

"Hi, Theo.

I know you must be wondering what the hell I did after the last letter. In fact, I'm thinking about all the things I could have done too. I could have tried to repair the damage I made in the past. I could have cleaned the house once more, but it's been two days since that texts Harry and I exchanged and no, I didn't get in the mood for cleaning the apartment since then. I could have called Liam and he would give me advices of what to do next knowing I'm still in love with that fucking famous man called Harold Edward Styles.

I mean... why do I still want him here with me? Why do I want to break the quarantine and travel half of the world just to tell him in person that I'm sorry for thinking we were ruined? Why am I listening to Beyoncé's sad songs while I think about him and all the things he does to me?

OK, the last topic was a bit random. Sorry for that.

I had no idea of how to answer Harry after he said "i'm sorry". I was the one who should've said it. I was the one who should be begging on my own knees, asking for a second chance. 

But, deep in my mind, something tells me that this kind of reaction was expected. Harry is so kind, he will always do whatever it's needed to make amends with people. Whatever he can do, he will. Because that's him.

People always expect me to be the kind one, because I wasn't exactly the biggest member on One Direction. There was always Harry, then Louis, then Zayn, and then Liam and I. People could never decide in which one of us was the "least useful" singer in the boyband. The "least known". The "least talented". Me and Liam? We were just there. 

See how far we came in solo careers. His debut album had good songs, but people didn't give him the attention he always deserved. I don't even know how I came so far with my songs. My mind always tricks me into these thoughts - how people still know me? When will my fans stop asking me to sing old 1D songs on my live streams? When will people recognize me as a solo singer?

When will people stop comparing me to Harry?

Oh, shit.

I know what's going on now. I gotta go. I have to fix some things - or, at least, try to.

Love, Niall."

☸☸☸☸

☸☸☸☸

Harry

You don't have to be sorry

Please, don't you ever be sorry for what happened

It was all my fault

It took some time, but I finally know 

I know what I was doing

I thought I didn't know, but now I know

And now I regret what I did to you

To us

What are you talking about, Niall?

You were right.

Fame was killing what we had.

It had to be done.

No

Please, just let me say what I want to say

Then you can think about it

And whatever you wanna do after, I'll understand

And I'll respect your decision

Okay.

Tell me, then.