the quarantine diaries | Narry Storan AU

day 22

"Hi, Theo.

I really disappeared this time, huh? Four days without a letter. I haven't been doing too much. The biggest thing that happened on this amount of time was when, yesterday, I had to leave my apartment to go somewhere way far than just my neighborhood for a typical run. I went to a grocery store on the other side of the town - with my car, of course - to to fill the drawers of my kitchen cupboard with food again. I was running out of rice and beans, I HAD to do it. 

"But, Niall, there is no other market closer to your home?" Yes, there is, but it's not that good. Trust me. The other time Harry went to buy things for my kitchen in that fucking market, I made him go to another one just to buy exactly what we needed.

He was kind of bad in the "supermarket" topic, I know. He did his best. But it seems like it was never enough. It was all about little fights over who had the guts to buy everything right for home, even when we still weren't properly living together. It was also something about the little time we had for cleaning up the home due to our solo careers going wild, world tours, promotion for the albums, stuff like that. In the end, we barely had time to each other.

And I regret this part.

Quick observation: today is day 22 of my self-isolation. I just heard Taylor Swift's song "22".

Oh.

Today Liam called me again. This time, it was hard to distract him from questions about me and Harry. I didn't want to talk about it, but after Liam said for the fifth time in the same call that "he was there anytime I wanted someone to talk about him", I had to say goodbye and turn the phone down. 

I was so close of telling him everything, but I just can't.

I can't tell him that we broke up almost like a long time ago, but the scars still hurt me inside. I can't tell him that we decided to end everything between us before we could destroy everything. I can't tell him that this is the biggest regret of my romantic life. I can't tell him that now I miss Harry fucking Styles more than anything on this quarantine. I can't tell Liam I want Harry here with me, cuddling me in the bed while we do some Netflix and chill.

I feel wrong by feeling those things. I feel like I'm not allowed to miss Harry. But I do.

Love, Niall."