the quarantine diaries | Narry Storan AU

day 101

"Hi, Theo.

Today marks the 101st day of my quarantine. Yes, I'm counting with the days I spent in the hospital under a deep coma. I'm counting these days ever since I started writing for you, to tell you — or to tell the metaphorical existence of you, actually — the dramas I was about to live during this time.

It's also the last day of my self-isolation.

At some point after I woke up, the country went into full lockdown. People would literally be arrested if they were somehow found outside their homes. It was such a horror movie in the beginning, but things worked out. Some areas of London are already free for us, but the street where I live is not one of them. We'll only be liberated tomorrow, and that's good. It means I can come back to do my daily routine involving things that I obviously cannot do inside my apartment, such as running, swimming, buying groceries, partying whenever I want to. You know.

Harry is coming here, too.

He bought a plane ticket to London, he's coming in a couple of days. We've been talking a lot ever since I started my treatment post-COVID-19 disease, and I can surely tell you he's one of the reasons why I feel so much better now. I don't wanna be one of those people who "can't live without their loved ones" or something like that, but once you almost die, you start revisiting some beliefs you used to have before the near-death experience.

And you start thinking, "I should be more grateful for the people that I have".

And you start thinking, "I should tell my loved ones that I love them. I should do it more".

And you start thinking that not everything is always about you. Just like I thought a few songs on Harold's album were about our relationship, but now I don't believe that anymore. And he didn't even have to tell me with all the words — I just feel it. 

But I like to think some of the Fine Line tracks were in my point of view. Such as "To Be So Lonely". I mean, I clearly was an arrogant son of a bitch who couldn't admit when I was sorry back then, right? The genius called Harold Edward Styles got into my own mind and tried to understand my feelings before judging me.

And I just wrote "No Judgement" straight up for him because I just liked his personality. Sometimes I feel like I'm still the emotional one in our story. Fuck that.

I also like to believe that we didn't get back to where we started. We just... kind of had a new beginning to our love story. Leaving behind all the things that hurted us in the past year, just enjoying our moment now. That's what a true relationship should be like, right? It should be about how you two feel at the moment. If you're happy together, you'll keep being happy together. If you're not happy together, you'll keep hurting each other until one side decides to break the spell. If you're happy, but not with the one you're currently with, then you should take some time to yourself and then think about the other person.

Your own happiness means the most to you, Theo. You better not forget.

Love, Niall."