YOU FOUND ME

CHAPTER 8-PART 1

KOREDE DASILVA

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

    I woke up to the sound of my alarm ringing. I struggled to open my eyes while searching for the alarm that had decided to ruin my much needed sleep. The alarm was at its usual spot on the lampstand, ringing loudly like a child in need of attention. This was not what I needed right now; wrong timing to say the least.
I checked the time on the clock; it was 6:04am. Today was Sunday and thankfully I didn't have to be up early.

    I stretched lazily across the bed and covered my face with the duvet, hoping that sleep would return. Though in my head I knew it wouldn't.
I turned to lie on my back, my head resting between two huge pillows like a boat flanked by the waves of the ocean.
I opened my eyes fully this time while I stared blankly at the beautiful patterns that adorned the ceiling.
For like a minute, I tried to think of nothing in particular; in order to clear my head off the stressful thoughts about work the past week. The work that I've been immersed so much in that I was afraid I was beginning to lose myself.

     Thankfully, Chuks' party yesterday served as a temporary distraction for me.
I definitely had a great time, but much of it was as a result of seeing Teniola yesterday. Lately, she had been on my mind for more than was appropriate in my opinion. I couldn't exactly point to what was responsible for the sudden turn of events: the constant thoughts of her that popped up in my head even while I was working.
It was a strangely sweet feeling that left me uneasy at times. Uneasy because everything about it screamed wrong; how inappropriate it felt in the first place that Teniola was an employee at Midas Incorporation.
Or how it was hard to explain my growing interest in her that I couldn't seem to control, a feeling that I thought I had left behind me.

I wasn't blind to the fact that she wanted nothing to do with me; I think her body language was obvious enough.
But the more she built a wall, the more curious I was to break through it.
Everything about her intrigued me; and for the first time in a long while I was content just listening to someone else's story instead of telling mine. There was something about her that seemed to draw me everytime, as though the answers I needed where embedded beneath her calm demeanor. Something more than just her beauty or the way she rolled her eyes when she spoke or her seeming shyness.

     I told myself long ago that I was done with relationships. I remember telling Tobi that I wasn't even going to get married let alone have a child and he looked at me like I was an alien from another planet. I'm certain he didn't take me seriously.
Not that I wanted to be a priest, far from that.
But I'd been broken too many times to believe that love was nothing more than a facade. Love was a contract; a partnership in which you seek your best interest.
Women desire men because they are rich, and men want nothing more than to get women to bed. If this was all there was to relationships, then I concluded that it wasn't the life for me.
So I decided to bury my feelings so much that I was certain that it had no effect on me anymore. To the point where I could feel nothing, like a plant withering away in the desert because that was the best thing to do.

     And so work became my escape route. My friends and family couldn't understand my change of behavior and I didn't try to explain myself because I knew it wouldn't matter anyways.
My mum would hear nothing of such, that her only child didn't want to ever have a family.
Over time, I avoided the guys' hangout as much as I could though sometimes I had no choice. I gave several excuses for my inability to attend their night parties and strip clubs.
I became disinterested with the rest of the world and wholly engrossed in my work. Slowly, the feelings faded away...or so I thought.
Until Teniola.

   If I needed proof that I'd changed...there was no need to look far. I'd been celibate for three years now and no one knew but myself.
But now, the mere thought of Teniola brought a possibility of something more; something I could explore no matter the fear I felt inside.

    I took a deep breath. It was almost 6:30am, just in time for my morning workout session.

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