Finding Islam

87. Sensible -

- A'ISHAH'S POV -

"W-what do you mean Beth?" I stammered, leaning the broom against the bench as I stepped beside her.

"Exactly what I said. He's attractive. You have an attractive brother, A'ishah." She smiled but her eyes weren't smiling and I considered whether she actually had feelings for my brother...Surely not.

"I...uh..." I rubbed my forehead and exhaled before looking at her. "I mean, that's normal, Beth. He is a good looking man, and it's normal that you find him attractive."

"No, A'ishah. He's not only attractive. He's kind and protective and clearly, a really nice guy. And funny too! He's..."

"Beth," I had to cut her off. I shut my eyes and thought about what the best thing to do in this situation would be. I couldn't exactly encourage her to go on. I didn't want to cut her off. I wanted her to express her thoughts properly. But I had to think of Aleena. She had a right to be protected. I had to think about King. What would he say about this? I was even thinking about Ayman. What does one do in such a situation. I had to decide who I should and shouldn't tell about this revelation.

"Beth, this..."

"I know, I know. It can't happen. I don't know why I told you."

"No, love," I placed my hand on her arm. "I'm glad that you told me. I really am. It's just very unexpected, that's all. So I'm not really sure how to go about the situation. Did...do you have an expectation of me, something you want me to say or do?" I had to know whether or not she thought I would try to facilitate something.

"I don't know. All I know is that I'm jealous. Not in a bad envious way, but in a sad way. I'm so damn jealous of the life you have A'ishah. Your husband bloody loves you. He loves you like I've never seen anyone love anyone else before. Your parents...your parents are freaking amazing! They're so sweet and so kind. From the first day that I saw them they made me feel like I was their own daughter. Your mum hugged me at the hospital and I swear to you, A'ishah," She paused and used her fingers to wipe away a tear. "I swear, I have never felt so safe in my entire life. I only then understood what people mean when they talk about a 'motherly embrace' You have friends that would drop everything just to come and help you. And then, you have Ayman. I mean, I can't be jealous of him really because I have my very own Ayman in King. And yeah, I might hate him and get frustrated with him, but I know that he'd do anything to help me. The same way your brother does for you, and the same way he will do for his wife."

I felt for her. I truly did. The words that were coming out of her mouth were so honest and I knew that none of this was out of spite. I was crying now. Not sobbing, but I had tears escaping my eyes. Even still, there was nothing that could be done. I couldn't encourage her thoughts or even entertain them because she would only end up more hurt.

"So yes, forgive me for being jealous of Aleena. She's gorgeous and so, so perfect, but I'm jealous that she is going to have Ayman."

"What did you just say!?"

Oh no. This was the last thing I needed.

"Here we go. Didn't you storm off to go to sleep?" Beth rolled her eyes while I quickly walked to King.

"I am handling it." I spoke clearly, wanting to make sure that he actually heard the words that were coming out of my mouth.

"Do you have feelings for Ayman?"

"Yep. Something that you weren't supposed to know." Beth mumbled.

"King, I am handling it. You need to leave. Please." I spoke. I was getting annoyed that he wasn't even acknowledging me besides putting his hands on my shoulders and holding me still meanwhile I tried to push him away.