Come into the Water

chapter forty two

I didn't end up telling Silas or Aries that I was staying the night at Lila's. It was reckless and careless, and they were probably worried sick about me. I was trying to break out of the habit that I developed when I was noncommittal. The feeling that I didn't owe anyone anything, and often not being able to put myself in their shoes and understand how they would feel. Especially under these dire circumstances with Lucifer and everything, I knew it was stupid of me.

And I felt bad about it. On the elevator ride up to my apartment, I feared that I had hurt them with my selfish decision. They would have all the right to be angry, all the right to have been downright pissed at me. I would've been mad at myself. I was mad at myself. The night that Aries had left after I came home with the bruises on my neck, I felt lost and worried. I still wasn't sure how I fell asleep that night not knowing what was going on with him and Silas. If I didn't have Jasmine, if I was left alone on my own accord, I would've probably combusted.

I shoved my key into the front door, unlocking tentatively. The door creaked open, but the apartment was quiet. I thought no one was home, but saw both of them seated on the couch in the living room the further I walked inside. Aries had his head leaned back against the couch, resting comfortably. And Silas' eyes were trained on the tv screen. An unknown movie flashed on the screen, which while Silas looked relatively interested in, Aries just looked bored.

I took off my coat and slipped off my snow boots, making my way quietly over to them. They weren't looking up, which made me nervous. They had to have heard me come in. The keys made a noise, the door opening made a noise, removing my jacket made a noise, my boots thumping on the ground made a noise, and my footsteps even made noise. But they weren't looking at me, so I figured they were pissed.

I stopped at the threshold, pausing. I let out one small sigh, going into the living room. The space between them that was always just big enough for me, I sat in. No one said anything, but they both shifted closer to me instinctively. I felt warm and most importantly I felt safe.

I missed them. I hadn't slept comfortably the previous night without them. I was so used to laying in the same bed with one of them or both of them, that a lumpy couch gave me no comfort. I wanted to be with them curled up. Just one night away made me feel as though I were going through withdrawals. But I adored them deeply. I couldn't help it.

A hand was placed on my chin, turning my face to look at him. I looked into Silas' soft blue eyes as his finger brushed against my cheek gently. "I missed you," he said almost quietly.

The words permeated each of my senses. I immediately heated up, feeling a thousand emotions at once. I felt happy-I felt love-I felt angry at myself.

I blinked, standing up. They both looked up at me, nearly startled. But they didn't take their eyes off of me, awaiting whatever I was going to say. This time I could read both of them loud and clear-they were nervous. They were scared. And that made me even more afraid to speak.

"I don't want kids," I blurted out. "Or maybe I do. I've been rethinking my stance a lot lately and I think that maybe someday...If you guys would want that too..." I trailed off. "I don't want to get married...yet. I want to go to Paris before I'm 30. I can see myself with you two for the rest of my life. I understand if you don't but I do. And sorry to sound like a dumb human girl but I...feel these things."

They never looked away from me. Not even to temporarily exchange a glance. There wasn't even a moment of disbelief or discomfort on their faces. Silence lingered over us, but I never looked away. I said my peace now they just had to respond. If they didn't feel the same way I probably would have been moved out within the next five minutes. But Aries sat up straighter, leaning forward and temporarily silencing my thoughts.

"You want a kid with me?" He asked.

My mouth suddenly felt dry. I swallowed. I had never admitted that to anyone-And admitting that to someone at 23 years old seemed kind of crazy. I always thought I'd be the vodka aunt, not the wine mom. But I was feeling differently now, and the change didn't seem like a bad thing to me anymore. That change would be far in the future, but it didn't seem repulsive anymore to think about having kids running around and making a mess. I nearly froze. Did I even want to know what a nephilim-demon hybrid was capable of?

"And me?" Silas inquired, before I could answer. "You want to have my baby?"

I tried to ignore my cheeks burning. "I do, but not any time soon. Maybe sometime in the future..."

"So do you want a daughter? A son?" Aries asked. "That's pretty fucking adorable."

I groaned. "Aries."

His smiled widened. "Can you imagine? A little me and a little you? That little fucker would be a nightmare," he chuckled. "And a you and Silas? It would be so cute."

He was gushing. He was being honest. He wasn't fucking around with me-He was actually thinking about it. My eyes flashed over to Silas who was just observing me and taking me in. His mouth twitched upward, offering more than I think he realized. My heart fluttered. They wanted the same with me.

"But it's not realistic," I admitted. "Lucifer talked to me last night. I'm sorry that I didn't come home. I'm so sorry that I probably left you guys to worry about me. It was dumb. It was stupid and you have all the right to be mad at me."

"Lucifer?" Aries asked lowly. He shut up immediately, taking a deep breath in. I frowned, glancing over at Silas. The small smile that was on his face had fallen. He looked serious once more.

"It was about the antichrist," I mumbled. "Again. He offered me immortality."

"What?" Silas asked, his tone holding disbelief.

I nodded. "He said that if I want to have the life that I truly desire with you, he can offer me immortality."

"He's full of shit," Aries responded gruffly.

"I think he's serious," Silas interjected. "But there would be a catch, of course. There would be no happy ending for all of us. There will always be a twist with Lucifer."

"Nephilim age at a much slower rate than normal humans," Aries said. "You won't live forever, but you will live much longer than you think. So the life that you want with us," his voice became much softer, "you can have."

"You want that life with me too?" I asked.

He nodded. "I love you, Natalia. If I didn't see a future with you, I wouldn't be here."

"And you'd be stupid," Silas added.

Aries rolled his eyes but nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, I'd be very stupid. You're everything to me."

"I really love you," I mumbled sincerely. I looked over at Silas. "I love you both so much."

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you," Silas said. "I love you more."

I sighed slowly. "And what happens now?"

"I have a plan," Silas muttered. "The only thing that can stop Lucifer is..."

"Lucifer?" I guessed.

Silas' lips curved upwards in amusement. He shook his head. "No."

"Jasmine," Aries finished.

"Exactly," Silas nodded, standing up. "Let's go."