The Guy I Married

♠ 23- A kiss and pain

"Shawn."

He didn't spare me a glance as he took long strides to his car. I was able to block him before he got in. We were standing face to face. My head looking upwards to meet his tall height. He wouldn't even look me in the eyes, they were teary and his face was red. He sniffed frequently to hold back the tears. He looked so vulnerable and i wish i could just hug his pain away.

This was the first time i saw him like this.

"Shawn," I paused for a while. I have to be careful with my words, any wrong wording, he would explode. "I'm sorry about what my family said. Whatever, it is..."

"You don't just get do you?" He cut me off. "It's you. I don't care what your family says to me, Curtis. What i care about is what you feel, what you say. And today i got a fair share of that."

I quickly blocked him when he tried to walk away. Now i understood, he was talking about our conversation in the bathroom.

"Shawn, words can't express how sorry i am and..."

Next thing i knew, pink plush lips caught mine. I froze at the impact. His lips quivered for a second and his strong arms went around my hips and ass, caressing slowly as my hands involuntarily worked their way on his shoulder. His tongue seeked for entrance and i gave in, opening to him. His kiss was hungry, hot and demanding, hitting every nerve in my body. My hands cupped his neck and raked his hair as i pulled him closer, divulging to his body heat, his scent, his flavour. Strong chest met my breast and it hardened almost immediately. Both hearts were rampaging at the intense pleasure. Each tongue swinging, striving for dominance over the other. He nibbled my lip one more time, before breaking the kiss to push me with a force that sent me stumbling, i almost fell.

I was shocked. He kissed me first, so why would he push me away. Both our chests were heaving from the lack of oxygen during the kiss. We looked like animals on heat. Desperate.

I wanted more.

"I'm sorry." He did it again. Walking away from me and i blocked him once more.

"No. You're not going to kiss me the way you did then just leave me like that." I ordered, trying to get a glimpse of his face or his emotion.

"Yes, i will. Yes, i can. It's what you wanted. To get out of your life."

My heart sank. I felt so Guilty. "No, Shawn. I may have said somethings..."

"Yes, I'm secretive. Yes, I'm hidden. Yes, i got a dark soul. But when i met you, i was going to give it a chance. This dark, secretive, tormented soul was willing to change for you. I hurt you on my birthday, yes! But the bruise you left on me that day will never heal! I managed to hide my demons for years, Curtis. And in one day, you tore my scars open. You let my demons out!"

His eyes were teary and he sniffed, holding them back.

"Ok, yes, i stalked you. Yes, i had a picture of you in my drawer. Yes, i was rude to you at the office because i was too much of a tormented soul to know what i felt. Damn, you may had even been the reason i worked in Gold Express, woman!"

He was pacing back and forth. Raking his hand through his hair like he was trying to remain sane.

"I kept on asking myself. Had i ever taken a woman to my home? Had any woman worn my shirt before? Had any woman haunted me in my dreams every night? Had any woman been on my mind everyday, everytime? Had i ever made food for any of my employee? Did any employee know my home? Can anyone just barge into my office the way you do?"

He kept on talking whilst sweat dropped down his face and his head was flushed from the fury.

"Everytime i see you in danger, i just can't help it. Everytime i see you in work mode, controlling and coordinating, it stirs up something in me. Everytime i see your lips, your ass, your body... damn you, Curtis!"

More yelling until he loosened his tie.

"You know what? Damn you!"

More pacing until he took off his suit coat.

"Even after you hurt me so much on my birthday. I still saved you from going to jail and do you want to know why? Because I'm a fucking idiot! I'm stupid! Useless! A damn hot headed bastard!"

"Shawn, no. You're non of that..."

"Didn't it ever cross your mind? Maybe he needs a family, Maybe he needs a companion, Maybe he needs a friend, Maybe he needs time to adjust or Maybe... he needs love."

Tears gushed down his chicks.

"Back in there," He pointed at my parent's house. "all the questions you asked, every single thing you said, i just gave your reply."

He sniffed. Cleaning his eyes.

"Well, guess what? I'm done being an idiot. I'm done wasting my time on a small minded person like you. You didn't want to get married right?" He chuckled. "Well then fine. I'm breaking the wedding, you no longer have to worry about that." He tried walking away but i blocked him.

"Shawn, how about my parents. What do you expect me to tell them?" My voice sounded soft and broken.

"That's not my problem now is it. Ms.Rollins." He's back to calling me Ms. Rollins?

"Shawn..."

"I had done alot of thinking after our conversation. You're right you know. Maybe I'm just the most miserable person on this planet and... Maybe i deserved to die alone." I gasped. Those were my last last words from earlier.

I tried reaching for him but he shrugged.

"Don't fucking touch me. From now on you're dead to me. You don't need to worry. I'll get the fuck out of your life. From now on, we're both strangers. And don't think about the kiss either, i only used you."

My heart sank.

He sniffed and dried his face with his coat. After taking a deep breath, he spoke. "Make sure you report for work early tomorrow, Ms. Rollins. The management will no longer fall for your pretences and fake illness." I did lie to Tori i was ill so i could get out of work.

"Disobey, and you'll be fired." This time around I let him walk away. He didn't look back at me, he got in his car and left.

•~

My family can't see me like this. I summoned courage, getting a grip on myself before i entered the house. They all took a position in the living room, watching me with intense and worried looks.

"What's wrong? Why did Shawn leave like that?"

Did they hear our conversation? The look on their faces were demanding an answer.

I fixed my hands into my back jean pocket. "Shawn's parents are dead. They were murdered... and he doesn't like talking about it."

I lied.

Now the room was filled with gasp and shocked expressions. I for one hoped that was a good explanation.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I took the stairs and went into my room.

After closing the door and locking it, my back was pressed against the door then my body slowly fell. I crawled myself in a ball, my hand wrapped around my legs, rocking myself back and forth.

I never knew i had hurt him so much. He left the house in a bad state and i hoped he would drive home safely. I sat there lost in my thoughts until sleep consumed me and our kiss haunted my dreams.

____please don't forget to vote or comment. Anything for your girl please.😭😭