Lifeline

Chapter 27; Breakdown.

"I can't imagine me living life without you, everything is incomplete without you, life makes no sense without you... So, I broke down." By meeeeee

Today was the day of Emily's funeral. I had lost track of time but I vaguely knew we were already cruising through the first week of November.

Everyone was dressed immaculately in white, courtesy of my mom.

In her words, we were sending off a pure being to where she truly belongs.

Fuck that. It was just a fancy way of saying she was dead.

I stepped out of the car, already so familiar with this place.

First Belinda, now Emily.

At first, I thought I could go through this. It wasn't the first time I had to bury someone I loved.

They say, practice numbs the pain of a broken heart.

It isn't true. No matter how many times your heart is broken, it hurts in a different way every single time.

When we buried Belinda, I had someone to fall back on.

A baby who depended on me, someone I clung to.

I couldn't breakdown then, I saw it more as a farewell to my sister from another mother.

But, today was different.

Everyone was gathered at the gate and chatting with each other as they waited for the corpse to move ahead before they followed behind.

I was the only one dressed in black. If the look on my mom's face wasn't enough hint, her storming over in my direction showed how pissed she was.

Truly, at this point, I didn't care.

All these people who showed up to bid Emily farewell only had on a facade.

None of them knew my Emily. None of them knew how much of an angel she truly was.

"Have you gone mad?" My mom whisper shouted.

"Maybe." I said plainly and focused my vision ahead.

St Matthew's Cemetery was beginning to look like more of a second home to me.

Maybe, I'd be next after Emily.

"Jesus Christ!"

Oops! I said that out loud. At least, she should be glad she knows what's running through my mind.

I still hadn't cried.

No matter how much I awaited the tears, they never came.

"Are you even listening?" She asked.

"No."

She placed a hand on her forehead, completely frustrated with me.

"Eric," she shouted. "Deal with your daughter." She turned her back and left to entertain the guests.

My father barely masked his disappointment before he stood by me.

"We all know you're hurt honey, but this isn't the way to go about it." He begun.

"How should I go about it then?" I snapped. "I can't go around smiling and behaving all merry as if nothing happened when the only reason I kept myself alive is being buried six feet under. So, forgive me if I lost my zeal to live."

The look on my father's face almost, just almost, quenched my resolve.

I took a good look at him. He was tired. He was barely hanging on.