A Sinful Night

UNTIL I'M BLEEDING OUT

TRIGGER WARNING; SELF HARM

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Ｊｅｎｎｉｅ'ｓ　ＰｏＶ　ねギ栄

Time.

Time was haunting the woman in front of me. The memories of us being cuddled in her bed, a month ago as she smiled at me— were a greater escape than to be here, by her side as she felt empty. 

It's like, she was an empty sub, trapped in between two walls, and with the train wrecking all of her bones to the side.

Her lips are parted, plump, and full, but the guilt that traced her eyes broke my heart into pieces.

A silent Lisa stands by a coffin.

The funeral was a preacher and Lisa, her men, some friends, and me, on the hill. One good book, one pine box, and a pre-dug hole.

The preacher did the best he could and gave the woman who Lisa once loved, a send-off, before retiring to the pub with Lisa to toast her memory.

Lisa didn't shed a tear, and it made everyone around her question how she remained to be this strong. It was almost like she was on the edge of breaking, and I was the only one to see that.

Her facial expression remained the same as the priest spoke, and we all enchanted the air with 'amens'. Lisa was heavily breathing, inhaling shakily but exhaling like she had no worries.

Her men had their heads down, but her eyes remained on the coffin. The coffin was closed.

The girls who I assume were Joy's friends, were all staring at Lisa with puffy red eyes. Her gaze turned to them, but she was quick to look away and sigh. And, I tried telling her that I was here by moving closer to her, but like a lifeless soul, she remained still and didn't meet my eyes.

An hour later we are walking away from the coffin as the funeral ends. We stop in our tracks when Joy's friends stop in front of us. One of them steps into the scene and looks at Lisa's eyes; "Why..?".

"She loved you". Lisa gulped hard when she heard those words.

"I'm sorry..". Lisa whispers but she's met by an angry woman who pushes her back. Lisa would normally get defensive but she seemed so fragile right now.

"All she did was love you. And this is what she gets?!". I immediately stepped in front of Lisa, who was now shaking and staring at the ground.

"What's wrong with you?!". I arch my eyebrows together and stare at the girl who shrugs her head, with tears streaming down her face.

"Nothing is wrong with me, but ask your fucking girlfriend what's wrong with her". She looked over my shoulder to look at Lisa and point a finger at her, but I took a deep breath.

"I understand that what happened is so hard to take in, but remember. That it wasn't Lisa who told her to go kill herself". I stood in front of her and Lisa like a wall. Ready to defend Lisa from the poison and the bullets that will come her way.

But as always, the truth hurts.

"Oh? For fuck sake she was in her house that day". She paused for a moment, "She said she will shoot her shot, and if you aren't willing to take her back.. she will end it all".

"And she did..".

"Why didn't you stop her then?". Lisa rasped out of the blue, her voice was so quiet and low that it was barely distinct.

The woman's anger goes down, but it's replaced with guilt and sadness instead. "It was too late..".

"When I found her letter.. she had already taken away her life".