ყ/ŋ'ʂ ℘ơ۷
Words couldn't describe how much it hurt.
'You can't understand how it feels until it happens to you,' I understand that now. And it's true.
You couldn't even begin to imagine the amount of pain I felt. It was not one emotion, but a concoction of many.
They all continued to pile up inside me, to flow into my whole body and make me something I was not. Change was inevitable, and I wanted it to happen.
Forget remorse. Throw away sympathy.
Make me something that could not feel.
Make me something that couldn't be hurt. Make me something that can't get heartbroken. Make me something that will kill without mercy.
Make me into the monster I was always destined to be.
Just take away the emotions that made me this weak. Tear them from my grip.
I don't want to be weak anymore.
Fill my lungs with the thirst for blood and revenge. Flood my head with aggression and irrational wrath.
Wash out all my weaknesses. I don't want to be weak anymore. I want a heart of stone.
I want to be an unbreakable wall. I no longer want this fragile mind.
It's not just heartbreak....it's self hate. Maybe if I'd tried harder to find a way out, then people would believe I was hurting. Maybe they'd see that I need help.
That's just what I want to purge from my head. I don't want regret, or sorrow, or sadness.
What I said to Garaki was the most I'd said to anyone.
The doctor was working for Shigaraki. And I wanted in on the plan they were forming.
"I want you to make me into a weapon," I muttered, removing the dirty bandages from my legs and upper arms.
The hospital gown hung loose on my pale, scarred skin that clung to my bones. My skeletal figure was hidden from view, the gown shielding it and only revealing my calves and pin-like arms.
"I don't want to feel this pain anymore, please take it away,"
Needles, wires, metal.
I felt them pierce and tighten on my skin. The operation table was cold under my slight weight. The doctor held a fluid in an injection needle in his hand.
"This is the last day you'll be human anymore," he warned.
Stop with the shitty story of no turning back, I don't want to feel this regret anymore.
"Get on with it dammit," monotone spilled from my mouth.
He put the anaesthetic into my neck, the sharp needle spilling a dark drop of scarlet as it retracted from my skin.
I felt the liquid push me over the edge into the void of unconsciousness.
It felt like I was falling.
Like I was pushed off the cliff of humanity, doomed to ever fall down the crevasse of eternity. Falling. Down, down.
Nothing could stop it now. Humanity and emotion was soon to be purged from me, and I was sure to never miss it.
~
Third Person's POV
She woke up, sitting upright and raising from the table. Her eyes were blank. Her shoulders hung limp to her neck, her head faced to her lap as her hair covered her face.
It slowly burned and flowed downwards, bubbling at the top.
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«ａｍｎｅｓｉａ»「nejire x reader」
Fanfiction【Nejire x Fem. Reader】 Y/N had one friend, one and only friend in the whole school of UA. Everyone avoided her, she was not popular, she was not special in anyone's eyes, and not what people would call ideal. No one wanted anything to do with her, a...
