memories. h.s

Fourteen

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍.

As soon as I'd gotten back to London, my phone wouldn't stop ringing with calls and text messages from my manager and production team about my album.

When Lillie called, I was on a continuous downward spiral of my own bad habits. Drinking heavily and having one night stands every weekend. It was at the point where I didn't even know how out of hand I had gotten.

"Harry where the fuck have you been? Don't you dare tell me you've been busy having sex this entire time or I swear to god-" my managers voice sounded loudly through my phone, so loud I had to hold it away from my ear so they wouldn't bleed.

"No I'm done, I'm done with the reckless hook ups, I'm done getting shit faced. I had a family emergency I had to quickly attend to back at home" I screw my eyes tightly shut as the humiliating memories of all the careless sex I've had with men and woman since my break up with Camille. How did I ever let it get this far?

"Yeah sure Harry, like this isn't the first time I've heard those words from you." Jeff scoffs down the phone clearly down with me. Which to be fair, I was done with me too. I'd become such an embarrassment. Get back into the studio before you dig yourself in deeper shit with the record label. They want this completed by October, you've barley written anything."

Before I can get a word out, the phone line cuts, singling he'd hung up on me.

"Fuck!" I scream letting all my emotions I've buried and bottled up for way too long. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I slam my phone down onto my white marble island in my kitchen not giving a damn if it shatters, I could buy another I don't care right now.

Jeff's words and our screaming fight from the time he'd first found out I was having sex with men and not just woman swirled around in my head.

———-

"You need to get your shit together and stop sleeping with men. People already think you're gay. I can not afford if one of these random guys decides to spill your little secret, and everyone finds out. Can you imagine what that will do to this companies imagine?" Jeff's voice raises in anger as he steps closer to me, stabbing his finger into my chest.
"DO YOU HARRY?! For fucks sake! People have fantasised about you and Louis together for years! YEARS! And look what happened because of that?"

I'd had enough of what he was saying to me. He'd gone too far. We use to be friends, I trusted him and I thought I trusted him but this was the music industry and no one was who they seemed. Everyone was in it for personal gain.

"Shut up!" My voice boomed as I pushed him away from me. "I played this game when I was younger, hiding a relationship that eventually destroyed us because of people like you but I will not play this game now. If they want to tell people I fucked them then LET. THEM. I don't give a fuck if people know I'm bisexual anymore. My personal life shouldn't have anything to do with my music."

I couldn't give two fucks what people thought of me anymore. "You are a coward if you believe my sexuality will badly affect my record sales" I bitterly laugh. I turned towards my alcohol cabinet suddenly feeling the need to have a drink at ten in the morning.

"Alright fine, don't come crying to me when your self image gets destroyed." I poor whiskey into a glass as I watch him pick up his coat roughly and make his way towards my front door. "I wish you'd realise and see who you've become. This isn't the Harry I know." With those guilty words designed to stab me right in the heart, he swiftly walks out the door slamming it behind him with great force.