memories. h.s

Twenty three

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

"We need to talk,"
it was now never. I couldn't waste any more time delaying the conversation or else I knew I'd lose the confidence to even start it. "That's what you wore that today?" my mother, judgmentally looks up and down at my mom jeans i had on paired with a black long sleeved shirt over the top of a maroon collared shirt. I was also wearing a pair of black with white stripped Vans. The same ones as Harry was wearing. He had on blue denim jeans with a yellow shirt peeking out from underneath a black hoodie.

"As a matter of fact, yes I did," I cross my arms over my chest and stare blankly at her as to tell her I could care less about what she thought. I was not backing down. Not now. I see a fake smile appear on her face making me scoff and nearly roll my eyes. She thinks I'm this stupid? "Happy birth-," and that's where I stop her there. I will not be fooled. "Save it. I said we need to talk," I gesture with my hands towards the dining table.

I look to Harry once we've all sat down at the table. He places his hand on my thigh drawing little shapes and patterns as a calming mechanism. As soon as Harry starts talking, it doesn't take very long for things to escalate quickly. It got to the point where we were all standing and my dad had joined the dispute.

"I am sick and tired of being treated like a child! I have no life skills because of YOU!" I point a accusing finger at the both of my parents. I was in full rage now with angry tears streaming down my face. "YOU, I don't even know who I am! And that scares me!" I sob harder as I finish screaming. Harry pulls me to him, hugging me as I latch onto his hoodie, gripping it in my fist.

"Stop being such a drama queen," my mum says making Harry tense and my blood to run cold. Really? This is all she has to say? That basically this is all my fault and that I'm overreacting?
"Stop acting like you're depressed! The whole suicide attempt was ridiculous. You just want attention. You have NOTHING to be depressed about. I've about had it with your shit." I watch out of the corner of my good eye as my dad throws his hands up in the hair and shakes his head.

I stand there in pure shock. My sobs abruptly stop and my body feels numb. Everything becomes silent around me as if the biggest secret in the whole world was just let out of the bag and it wasn't a good one. "You think...I did it...for attention?" I sputter out in a meek voice. Not really having control of my voice and words anymore. I had cried too much to the point I could cry no longer.

Harry looked beyond angry. His stare so concentrated and stern I could even feel his increasing rage radiating off of him. It nearly scared me to see him like this. It was a version of him I had never seen. His eyes narrow ahead of him before he goes to speak. "If there is one thing I want to make sure you know, it is that Lillie is not depressed for attention. You will not sit here and try to tell Lillie her decrease in her mental health was made up. Do not sit here and try to tell Lillie how she should feel. Depression is something that can affect anyone. No matter how perfect their life may seem. You want to know how i know that? Because I was once suicidal too." As he confesses, an audible gasp escapes my mums mouth. "My life is perfect. I have more money then I'll ever need, I have fame, friends, a supportive family, but depression still sneaked it's way in and I was hurting for so long. Do not be ignorant about your daughters struggles. You don't know what's swirling around in her head. Day In and day out."

Both my parents still seemed to not be bothered by what he said. They looked bored and unwilling to listen to anything we had to say. "If that's the case, then she can leave and live with you. She's eighteen now. We do not want to deal with this crap in our house if she's going to act like this all the time. I will not tolerate it but evidently it seems like you will since you clearly understand her issues."