memories. h.s

Twenty eight

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

We spent the rest of the evening eating ice cream and gushing over attractive men in movies while painting our nails. While watching The Greatest Showmen,  we ended up having a lengthy conversation on Zac Efron.

"And remember when you told me you had never seem High School Musical? That's the same guy!" I said as I gestured my hands towards the TV screen. Harry just wasn't connecting the dots here.

"Is it really?" He raises a eyebrow.

"Yes! Baby oh my god," I lean back into the couch and slap my hand over my forehead. I couldn't believe my own boyfriend doesn't know Zac Efron is the Troy Bolton.

"When we watched High School Musical I thought he looked cute but now he's like smoking hot."

"He's just like you, ages like fine wine. Just keeps getting more attractive as he gets older," I say without realising I had just admitted to thinking Harry just keeps getting hotter as the years go on.

"Did you just call me hot?" A smirk appears on his lips.

"Maybe," I drag out the word with a smug look on my face but as I turn to him, I can't control it and I burst out into laughter, Harry joining in with me.

"When did you first develop a crush on me?" Harry questions. I think about it as I run my fingers through his dark curls as he laid his head on my chest sort of in a way where he wouldn't crush me.

"And be honest," he adds as an afterthought.

"I think it was when I was fourteen, but I never fully admitted it to myself until well now but I felt kinda embarrassed that I had started to look at you in a different way. I was fourteen. I know it was just a celebrity crush and what girl didn't have a celebrity crush on you, you know? But the fact that I knew you at one point of my life, made me feel weird because I just thought you probably only visualised me as a little girl still because that's the only memory you had of me," I explained in full honesty.

"That makes sense, I can see why there would've been a internal battle with yourself about me. Even if it was a innocent celebrity crush. In a way, i can relate in the sense of when i discovered I liked boys, and was starting to crush on Louis, I was embarrassed and scared because I had never known anyone who liked people of the same sex, I didn't know if I was gay, straight, bi, or what. I didn't really know what the word bisexual was to be honest. I knew for sure I liked girls, but then I also felt the same way towards boys so when I realised that, it took awhile for me to come to terms with it and stop denying it."

I brushed my thumb over his cheek before leaning forward and planting a kiss to his forehead. "I'm so proud of you for all the shit you went through and managed to pull through. It's truly remarkable."

We continued to watch more and more movies, The Breakfast Club, This Thing Called Love - Harry and I both discovered we were both massive fans of River Phoenix so of course we had to watch one of his movies. We also watched A Star Is Born. Very fitting might I add. The movie was quite good actually. It definitely deserved all the rave it got during the time it was released.

Throughout watching movies, there was one thing that kept nagging in my mind the entire time. I kept thinking about how it bothered me that some woman won't date bisexual men because their attraction to men makes them uncomfortable. Or they're into them solely because they fetishise it. I think it's so wrong to judge someone for their sexual orientation. If you truly love someone, then you love them if they're purple, have a disability, have a sexuality that isn't the same as yours, whatever it it may be, it's all irrelevant. I completely have trust in Harry and Harry has trust in me. I'm not worried that he's going to cheat on me with a man. It doesn't make me uncomfortable, or upset or even angry to be sitting here and listen to him call a man in a movie we're watching "hot" or, "attractive." It just doesn't. I'm not gonna force him to be a certain way. Hell I don't even care if we're out somewhere and he makes a comment to me about a man because at the end of the day, I know it's me who he loves and no one else.