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Izuku stared at the bathroom door. It's been three hours, so Eri was probably asleep and couldn't see his... mess of himself.
But he just... couldn't move.
No- not couldn't... he didn't want to.
He was still hugging himself tighter and tears would glide past his eyelashes and he would hiccup when he let out a heartbreaking sob.
He felt like he kept on reliving that moment on repeat.
But he was able to get out of the repeat an hour ago.
Izuku felt so dramatic that he had to cut open his arm just to get a grip on reality.
The blood had dried by now, it was staining around his arm and his hand. "At least none got on the floor," he whispered to himself, trying to calm down from his own voice.
Izuku rakes his memory for his first panic attack, and he remembered it was from his mother-
Izuku stiffened at his mother's name; the league told him they killed her after she put up a fight...
Her death was all his fault...
He shook his head and stood up and decided to take a freezing cold shower to keep him awake.
Izuku has gotten these attacks a lot in his life, it started once he was three. It was pretty rare when it happened, and it usually happened if he ate more food than what his mother told him to eat.
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A small three-year-old greenette was in his friends' room as they split some crackers for dinner since the babysitter bailed and Katsuki's parents weren't home.
"Izu, here! So we both can have ten."
Izuku smiled and took five of the ten with his mother's words ringing in his head; "Don't eat a lot of food today, or you'll get more fat. Then I'd have to remove it by hand-"
"T-thank you Kacchan! But I'm not that hungry, so you can have my other five..."
Katsuki shook his head, "What're another five crackers going to do to you? Do you not like my crackers, Izu?"
Izuku waved his hands dismissively, "N-no! I don't hate them! I just ate a lot of food today and I'm full..."
Katsuki shook his head with a small adorable scowl on his face, "No way! I was with you all day today and you barely ate anything Izu! Eat the damn crackers!"
Frantically Izuku shook his head as worry danced across his face as his mother's words kept play over and over and over in his mind.
Quickly he ate his five crackers, "See! I'm done now, I'm not hungry anymore, Kacchan!"
The blonde glared at him and gave him five more of the salted crackers, "Eat them. Now."
"B-but Kacchan-"
"I said now."
Not wanting to go against his friend and make him go into a pouting fit he was going to take the crackers.
But then he noticed his cheeks felt wet; he was crying.
And he didn't know why.
Everything just started to fade away into the background as Izuku could only hear his labored breathing.
He wrapped his small arms around himself and banged his head on his knees.
He vaguely remembers his frightened friend trying to talk to him and getting out the home phone to call his mom.

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I'm No Hero - Vigilante BNHA
FanfictionFirst few chapters are 1st person POV, rest are third. Will be fixing that... soon... One more Chapter i think I am going to try finishing this for the oldies who stuck around during summer time like a last hurrah idk haha - old chapters have ~ ch...