Sequence | ATEEZ SAN

Chapter 32

You took a walk in the park near your house. It's been five days since your grandmother passed away. You haven't spoken to anyone at all and you switched off your phone. Even when your parents beat you up for not answering them, you didn't utter a word.

You take out the cigarettes that you bought a while ago. You were about to light the cigarette, but you remembered that you told San you wouldn't smoke ever again.

"Fuck it," you mutter to yourself before lighting the cigarette anyway. You felt a lot better after taking a few drags. You smoked two more cigarettes while you watched some ducks swimming in a pond.

When you got home, you started packing since your flight was tonight.

"Raena, I emailed your school about your absence," your mother says. "They will give you attendance."

You just nod, neatly folding your clothes and placing it inside your suitcase.

"Is that how you talk to your mother?" she says angrily.

You looked up at her in confusion. "I didn't even say anything," you murmur.

"Your attitude is becoming worse day by day," she complains. "I should've sent you to a strict boarding school. You're a terrible brat."

"Then stop bothering me if I'm so terrible!" you yell, bursting into tears. "Why do you always treat me like trash? What did I ever do to you to deserve to be treated like this?!"

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me, Ahn Raena!"

"You're a terrible mother!"

She slaps you hard. "You never learn! Thank goodness you don't live under my roof anymore. That boy we were supposed to marry you off to also said he would never make someone like you his wife. You aren't worth loving. I pity myself for giving birth to such a useless, worthless creature! Even your father hates you!" she yells before leaving the room.

The sting on your cheek from her slap was nothing compared to the way her words stung your heart. You were used to her insulting you all the time, but this was the worst thing she has ever said to you.

Sakura could hear everything. She enters your room and immediately pulls you into her arms. "Shh, Rae, I got you. Don't listen to anything she says, alright?"

"She's r-right... I am w-worthless," you say in between sobs. "I'm not even worth... l-loving."

"No! Rae, listen to me, you—"

"Please, don't," you whisper, cutting her off. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Sakura takes a deep breath. "Okay..."
She was so worried but she knew saying something wouldn't really change anything for you.

~

"Rae, are you going to school today?" Sakura asks, tapping your back gently. Both of you arrived in Seoul a little after midnight today. You really felt exhausted.

"I don't know. I might go during lunch," you mumble sleepily. "Or I'll ditch."

"Okay," she says. "Dayeon and I have important classes today, so neither of us can stay back home. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine," you say. "Now go or else you'll be late."

When you hear her leave, tears started rolling down your face. You just felt horrible. These last two weeks were really terrible for you.

Still, you forced yourself to get it together. You had to stay strong.

-

End of Chapter 32.