Suddenly, There was Kai

Chapter 29

So much for waiting until tomorrow. I think to myself as I watch Ian walk away form the table and out of my life.

I didn't mean to blurt it out the way I had, I don't even know what I was thinking. He was talking about an account he was working on and how it would be a pretty big deal if the new client signed with his company. I had only been half listening when I said it.

"I don't want to marry you."

At first he kept talking, but then my words finally registered and he actually went pale.

"What?"

"I can't marry you." I repeat as I stare into my glass.

"What?"

"I said-"

"I heard you."

I finally get the courage to look up at him then, and what I saw nearly broke me. He was crying. CRYING. A person whom I would've thought incapable of doing such a thing, had tears running down his face.

Our food order had yet to be taken by the waiter; we had only just gotten to our table after having to wait at the bar until our table was ready.

"I don't understand. Where is this coming from? I thought everything was going so well between us?"

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to say that. No, I meant to say it, just, not now. I- I don't know what happened, but I realized some time ago that I although I love you, I am not in love with you. All this time, I had been trying to get to the point where I could tell myself that I am in love with you, but it just never happened. After you proposed, I had made it my mission to try to love you the way you love me, I really did." I took the ring and placed it on the table in front of him. "I shouldn't have taken this from you. I was trying to be someone whom I couldn't be."

He didn't say another word as he looked down at the ring on the table. For the first time for as long as I had known him, Ian Levin was speechless. Another minute ticked by when he suddenly picked up the ring and stood up from the table. He wiped at the tears on his face as he placed the ring in his pocket.

Then he simply walked away.

When waiter had returned to take our order, I stood and informed her that it would now be a carry out order and that I would wait for it at the bar. I sat down and ordered another drink. I took out my phone and texted a message to Greg.

"It's done." I type out quickly.

Several minutes later, he replies.

He sends an emoji with a confused face, then: "What is done? What are you talking about?

"Ian. I told him."

He sends another emoji, one that I imagine, represents the shock on his face at the moment. "Already? You told me earlier that you were going to tell him tomorrow. What happened? How did he take it?"

"About as well as you can imagine, he left about five minutes ago. He didn't even say anything. I didn't mean to say it. It just came out like word vomit, and then suddenly I couldn't stop talking."

"Did you mention anything about Kai?"

"No, of coarse not. I did however, in so many words, tell him that I had been trying for some time now to develop into some person that loves him. Greg, he CRIED! He was devastated."

"Understandable.

I suppose it was good that you said it now. I was wondering how you were going to avoid his advances toward you.