Fairytale : Ranbir Alia One Shots

Letting Go (#12)

Extremely humbled by the response to the previous chapter. It was heartbreaking to its core and for a lot of us the task was hard. 

But I'm glad I was able to get down my pain into the book. 

This was again a much awaited chapter. 

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[Ranbir's POV]

Pain

A four letter word that when inflected for real would shake your world. For some its the physical ache. But what lies beneath is the real deal. When every walking moment feels like your dying thousand deaths, that's insurmountable pain. 

Of all the things in the world I was tested with, this is the hardest yet. 

To let go of your father.

The head of your family. The guide of your life. Your protector. 

He wasn't a regular dad. Who would hug their child upon success or feel defeated at their loss. He barely interfered in my life. Be it in school or thereafter. Yes my childhood wasn't exactly a happy one. There was an ugly phase that we as a family went through. I would wake up and go back to sleep listening to my parent's fight. It was unbearable. Some days I'd cry myself to sleep. Other days I wish I could run away. Just to be free from their ordeal. 

It changed as years passed by. But what didn't change was the love they both had for each other. 

Theirs was a love that had cemented itself deep within their hearts that not even their silly lame outbursts once in a while could break apart. They were my ideal. No matter how hard they played to show they were past the romance stage. Every time my mum prepared dad's favourite dish, I'd see a wide grin on his face that he'd reserve only for her. Whenever dad praised mom in his own funny way amidst a random conversation, she would light up. 

Theirs was a love that sailed through storms around forty years! 

When I first became an actor I was apprehensive of showing him my work. Because he was my idol. I loved what he did on the screen. His charisma, those expressions, his old romantic movies that made you feel so good and especially him and my mom together being everything they would never around us. It was fun treat to watch him come alive. Other than being my supporter, he was my biggest critic. 

When mom loves just everything I put my feet on, dad made sure to keep me humbled by his words. He disliked me in Barfi but when we swept the awards I saw his moist eyes, only I did. When I grilled the stage in Rockstar, he had a proud smile adorning him in the dark theatre. He was emotional like never, watching an exclusive clip from Sanju, shown by my director. 

In his own weird sweet ways he showed his love for me. 

When the world pounced on me for my mistake and even sometimes for no mistake, he stood before me like a shield. He became a father I always craved him to be. My protector, my hero. Yes he went too far sometimes with his words but that was because he cared for us. Was protective about his family. And couldn't stand anyone pointing fingers at us. That was Rishi Kapoor. 

His tweets were feisty and straight forward. Too ballsy might I add. It would bring a hearty laugh to me always. Every time my father indulged in a twitter war, my friends would sent me screenshots and we would laugh and cheer. He was our entertainer. Both on and off screen. 

We had our restrictions as father and son. I respected and loved him tremendously and so did he. But we never had a close relationship like what I had with maa. His father had a far of bond with him so he kept up with the legacy. It hurt me back in those days when Varun, Rohit and my other friends used to brag about being friends with their dads. I always had my eyes downcast.