Irresistible.

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May went by quickly, and it was a lot of trips, but also a lot of missing him... He was gone a lot, different countries, different radio shows, and late night shows. I couldn't just pack up, and leave and follow him. I had my own things to do so I didn't. It was hard, but we did it. I also got to see him in concert for the first time ever at The Troubadour. It was better than I'd ever expected it to be. I mean Stevie freaking Nicks was there, and she performed, and Harry, and his suit, and.... And it was just perfect. The whole night.


    I went to New York for the first time with him... New York was a dream. New York was... it was like Dreamland for me. I did my own little adventures while he was working, I met some producers, and even a few different artists. Harry doesn't know any of that he just knows I was writing, and exploring, but I didn't want him to think it was me leaving him behind, or moving on to better things because... Well because I wouldn't do that, no matter who offers me something. I'll tell him if there was something important happening with it.

    June passed by slowly, there was a lot of promotion then too, and I have to say James Corden is by far my favorite person that I've met through all of this. At least one of them, he's hilarious, he's kind, and he treats Harry like a son, and a friend at the same time... That whole week was insane though, but a good kind of insane. July was just the same too, it was fast paced, no one ever stopped moving for most of it. August was really the slow month. We spent a lot of time at rehearsals with the band, and we also spent a lot of time at Beachwood too. Just Harry, and I. I'm not sure why I grew to like it so much, but I really did, and Sandy wasn't even upset by it, she's happy about it because she wants Harry and I to push on.

    That brings me to now. September 23rd, 2017. I've known Harry for over a year, this time last year I kissed him for the first time in Jamaica, and now I'm biking to his house to see him just like any other day... and in just one year he's changed my entire life. He's changed my whole damn life and I'm not even sure if he knows that yet. The past few weeks we went to the San Francisco show of tour, and we went to the LA show a few days ago, both of them amazing... It's dinner now, dinner, and probably a movie... Dinner, a movie, and the night I finally tell him I love him... He's leaving on tour, and this entire time he's been with me I've preached honesty... But I haven't been honest... and I need to be.

    I throw my bike down, and practically run into the house. Once I'm inside I skip to the kitchen, and don't see him in here. I furrow my brows, and look around, and up.

    "Harry Styles?" I yell out over the house.

    "I'm out here ba.. I'm out here love.." He speaks out, and I turn to the backdoor. I set my bag down, and walk out, feeling the setting night air hit me. He's standing there, looking out, and I know in his mind he probably wishes he was looking at the stars right now... The stars are always a perfect backdrop for anything..

    "What are you doing out here bubs?" I walk up with a smile, but he's not smiling, and my heart sinks.

    "I... I think we need to talk about some stuff Darling.. We've been avoiding it, and I think.. I think we have to." He speaks out, and I just stare at him as he looks away from me. What have we been avoiding? I haven't avoided anything, so I'm not sure what he's talking about, but I'll have this talk if this is what he wants to do... It's obvious there's something on his chest.

    "O-okay.." I agree, and he leads, bringing me back inside. We sit down together, and he seems so nervous right now.. So shaky, so unsure, and his whole demeanor is making me nervous.

    "Um... I.. I don't really know how to.. How to talk about-"

    "Well I would start, but... but I don't know what this is about so I can't really help you except to tell you that whatever you have to say is... It's me Harry, you can talk to me, I don't... I don't know why that would be hard.." I shrug my shoulders, and he sighs.

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