Epiphany

EP:37

Chapter 37

Ally's Perspective

"Be loud about the things that are important to you."-Karen Walrond

•••••

       FATHERS, they were our backbones, head of the household, our superhero's at least that's what they were supposed to be. I guess the deadbeat gene hit my father hard and heavy. Growing up without a father as a young lady was challenging. No one to reassure my confidence, school me on the intentions of young boys, or teach me how a man should value and treat a woman. I'm not blaming my relationship problems with men all on my father since life is about free will, but he did play a part in my trust issues, failed relationships, and horrible taste in men.

My mother never felt the need to rely on a man even if she had to raise two kids on her own. Her motto was always to stack your bread up. Although for most of my childhood she was a stripper she still made sure to put hot food on me and Andre's plate every night without the help of a man to do it for her. 

     For those reasons alone at a young age, I gave up on commitment and the belief of love a long time ago. My only desire out of a man currently was fun, a good time, and nothing more. I laid across my bed trying to ignore the blissful soreness between my legs from the sexual activities that had taken place moments ago. Kenny stood across the room from me buttoning back up his shirt that was thrown on the floor. We shared eye contact briefly smiling at one another.

"Can't get up can you?" He asked with a cocky smirk on his face.

"Shut up," I threw a pillow to the side of me towards him.

He blocked it, "watch out."

After placing back on his shirt he sat on the edge of the bed with his grey briefs on.

"Whew! Girl, you keep a nigga tired." He grabbed his jeans off of my bedroom floor reaching inside a front pocket pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"Mind if I smoke?"

"Nah you good." He lit up taking a few puffs.

"You know I could always go for another round."

I chuckled, "I bet you could but that would lead to us both being extremely tired and you can't spend the night here."

I got up grabbing my robe to cover my naked exposed body.

"What's wrong with me stayin' the night?" He leaned back on the bed resting against the headboard.

"Kenny you know the routine."

He shook his head letting some smoke fall from his mouth.

"Ally this yo spot and we grown as hell, Andre my nigga and all but you can't keep lettin' him control yo life."

I sighed going into my closet, "you don't understand...it's more complicated than that."

"Tsk that's what you always say." He turned away from me.

"What's up with the mood swings today Kenny we always do this ain't nothin' changed."