Amore

Chapter 25

Dear Mae, My Mae.

The moment I saw you in your blue dress on the Dolce and Gabbana shoot in Italy, over a year ago I instantly knew that it would be hard to forget your face. Even though you tell me you didn't recognise me, I now believe that you did because of your nervous laugh that was the noise for the whole shoot. Of course, I didn't know that it was your nervous laugh at the time but now it is easily recognisable in comparison to your normal laugh. Your bright blue eyes held a story. I have come to know that this story is filled with pain, suffering and loss. You are incredibly strong, brave and a perfect example of a women. You keep it together for everyone and always fight your corner. Your dad is proud of you, and I know didn't know him but I know you and your acts of kindness make me proud to even know you let alone be the one to kiss you goodnight. You aren't just a fit girl I saw at work; you are my life. You continued to pull me out of a dark place and showed me the world through your eyes, your innocent, charming and passionate eyes. Sometimes I look at you and wonder how I got to be so God damn lucky.

I am writing this in the room Jay has just locked me in. I think I scared you with the amount I drank but truthfully the bottle was already half empty. The reason I was contemplating ending it all was because I had just showed my true colours to you and I was scared that you would leave me, so as I cowered with a large ego, I left you first. Truthfully as a man I have struggled with things such as, mental health, addiction and anger. But you have been through sadness, grief and sexual assault yet you still ask me if I am okay at the end of every day. I met you for a reason, and every day of my life you save me more and more. I don't care how complicated or hard things get I will still want you. I truly will never be worthy of you but all I ask is for a second chance.

I am permanently in love with you, always and forever

H x