Save My Soul

Nightmares

I wake in the middle of the night and find myself laying on Sage's chest, he was like a heater so there was no need for covers. Sage stirred and I was afraid he was going to wake, I didn't want to be the reason he didn't get a good nights rest. He just started sleeping like a normal person since I've moved in. There was no way I would be the reason he didn't sleep again.

I untangled my arms and legs from his rolled onto my side and quietly made my way downstairs. I opened the back door to the patio and took a deep long breath of fresh air.

I have been having the same nightmare over and over ever since Greg kidnapped me. There was just something he said I couldn't shake.

You're not good enough for him he will never love you. Stop trying to waste people's time you'll never go anywhere in life.

I sighed knowing good and well none of that is true. Sage does love me and I have already made my first step in going somewhere in my life. No one can take that away from me. Especially Greg who died trying to keep me as his slave.

What did he want with me anyways? Why me? What did I ever do to make him hate me so much?

I always ask myself the same questions trying to find the answers in middle of the fucked up situation, but they never come to me.

I grab a small blanket and wrap it around me, I take a seat in one of the chairs and just look up at the stars. I don't know what I'm looking for but I do know I have so many questions. Why my parents didn't love or want me? Why did all my foster homes end up the same way? Why is Sage the only person of the fucking planet who has faith in me? Why did god make me go through so much pain to lead me here? Am I even on the right path?

I close my eyes and try to slow my breathing as I feel myself start to panic. I have so many questions and yet there is no one here that can answer not a single one of them.

"Piper honey what are you doing out here? Did you have another nightmare again?" Sage asks as he walks over to join me in my chair.

"How did you know?" I ask and bite my lip. Great so I have been keeping him awake again!

"Piper there is nothing wrong with having nightmares after everything you have been through. You have been put through so much pain and to be alone during all of it makes my blood boil.

I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed someone to help you see the good in people. I'm sorry you was dealt a shitty hand at life. But look at you now! You have pushed through all of the bad to finally get to the good." Sage pulls me on his lap and puts my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I keep you up at night. I know you haven't got to sleep like a normal person since you met me." I wipe my eyes and sniffle. God I'm so emotional right now and I can't help but feel his love for me.

"Never be sorry for me meeting you. You have made my life complete. I love you so much and I will hold you until you realize that I'm not going anywhere. This right here is want I'm here for. To make you feel better and to reassure you, I will always be by your side." I am full on sobbing now. I wipe my face on Sage's shirt and he laughs.

"I know and I'm trying so hard for you but some days are better than others." I whisper

"No. Don't do it for me. Do it for you. Be sad and get it all out. Then be happy and live the life you deserved Piper Smith. Be the girl I see hiding under this broken person. Be the fire little red. Lite that torch and burn the broken pieces left of your soul. So I can heal them and mend them back together with love and happiness." Sage grabs my cheeks in his big hands and kisses my lips ever so softly.

"You're right! I need to get rid of the broken part of me. But to do that I need to accept the broken part of me is still me. I can heal and be the happy person I deserve to be. But first I need some of my questions answered. I need to know about my real parents." I stand up and grab Sage pulling him back into the house.

"What does your real parents have to do with healing you Pips?" Sage asked confused with his head cocked to one side.

"Everything! They were the first ones to break me." I give him a sad smile and make my way back to bed. I will become my happy self and I will be a whole person. Not a broken one. 

"Piper talk to me, how is that going to help you by finding them? What if they say hurtful things and I have to John rip out their tongues." Sage says only half playing. He was right though what if they don't want to see me to even answer some of my questions? It will break me even further. But I have to do this to move on with my life. But I can't hold back because of the what if's. 

"I know but if you want me to fully heal, I need to ask them the questions that have been eating me alive my entire life. I don't want to do this, but I need to do this." I cuddle up under Sage's arm and he pulls me close to his chest.

"Whatever you need I will be right beside you every step of the way." Sage whispered and I fell asleep to the sweet sounds of his voice. 

I wake up to a empty bed and no smell of breakfast. That's weird Sage never leaves me in bed alone unless he is cooking. I get out of bed and throw my robe on, I walk in the hall and decide to check his room first. I know we both shower together and sleep together but I love my own space for right now. And Sage hasn't asked me to move into his bedroom. I don't want to overstep, so when he's ready he will let me know I'm sure.

I open the door and there's no sign of anyone being in this room all day. The bed is still made and the bathroom has no clothes in it. His closet door is still closed. Hm maybe he's in his office. I walk down the stair and knock on his office door, "Sage are you in there?" I ask before I opened the door. 

"Yes babe, come in. And why the hell are you knocking, this is your house too. That means every room in this house is yours. Do you understand?" Sage as with his eyebrow raised and chuckled at my blush that creeped up my cheeks.  

"Yes I understand Sage. Sorry if I bothered you, I just didn't know where you went and I got worried. You never leave me unless your cooking." I look down at the floor after I hear what just came out of my mouth. I sound like a needy girlfriend. Uhh who knew dating would be this hard.

"First of all I didn't leave you, second you found me, third have a seat. I made some calls and I found your mother. I'm sorry but she passed away July 23, 1996." Sage's face fell as he was letting me process this information. But it all started to slowly make sense as the pieces fell into place.