𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝕷𝖚𝖘𝖙 | Ꮩ X ᏴᎢᏚ

12.

"How about we start off just here in the house and then once you're ready and ok, we'll transfer you to school." Namjoon announced to everyone.

We were currently talking about the school situation Hoseok mentioned yesterday. We were eating around the living room for breakfast as we talked. "The school part is all mainly just for you but we will be there and with you the whole time." I still didn't like the idea. Being around a lot of people such as a school, it makes me lose my breathe. Like I am having anxiety about it.

"I will do Korean and English lessons with you. Reading with Jimin. Yoongi is music. Hoseok will be math. Jin is history and Jungkook is gym or physical activity like health. That'll be your plan for maybe around 2 months and then you'll transfer to school."

I was fine with the idea of learning with the boys. It seemed fun and a way to become closer to them. I was excited to have some bonding time with each of them. "I-I'm fine with t-that." I mentioned that to them so that they knew how I felt.

"Ok that's good, then we'll start tomorrow. For the remainder of the day, everyone can just do their own thing. Jungkook and Jimin are on patrol and apparently they was a fight in the north end so Jin and Hoseok can check it out." Namjoon said to the group which I've seen him as like the leader. The person who tells everyone what to do. Even though he's not the eldest.

"Alright, I'll see you guys later. Come on Jimin let's go." Jungkook said while standing up and leaving the room.

"Bye bye." I gave them a little wave while the smiled back at me. I didn't really know what they were actually doing but patrol means looking around. Right?

Jin and Hoseok also left shortly after them which I gave them a little 'stay safe' before they left. And then there were 3. The three of us just sat there in silence not really knowing what to do. "I'll be in my room, I'm gonna take a nap." Yoongi stood up and left.

That left just me and Namjoon together, sitting opposite from each other. I had my hands on my knees while Namjoon had his leg on his knee and his arms crossed across us chest. Quite intimidating if you ask me, with a serious face and that position. He looks scary.

I tried to lessen the tension and quietness by speaking up. "D-Do you guys have a g-garden?" My voice was very quiet and fair so it was hard to hear. But his head directed up to me.

The only happy thing I remember in my lifetime is the outdoors. The flowers, trees, and grass made me very happy. The smell of nature made me calm and the main reason I used to be a bubbly, energetic, happy person. Also my love for animals started there. It was what made life so precious.

"Yes we do. It's behind the house. You wanna go?" I nodded which he smiled at and led the way towards 2 doors. He opened one and there was a beautiful array of flowers and trees. Grass along the group and I even saw a few butterflies. I could even hear the birds chirping. It was peaceful, calm, and quiet.

I walked along the stone pathway with my hands behind my back. I went towards a few flowers, smelling the nice scent they gave off. Their fluorescent colours added a smile to my face as well. "You like it?" I heard Namjoon say. I looked towards him, he was leaning again the door frame looking at me.

"Yeah, it's r-really nice." I smiled which he smiled back at. Smiling, something I haven't been able to achieve in awhile. There was no reason to smile back at that place, but doing it here. It feels free.

"Jimin is the one who did all this. Maybe you can help him one day." I nodded at his response and noted in my head to ask Jimin about it when he comes home. I always used to plant with Grammy, so doing so will remind me so much of her. Namjoon came towards me standing beside me. "You can pick some if you want and put it in your room."

I followed his words and started picking red and pink roses. My mother's favourite.

The mention of my room reminded me of what happened yesterday and Hoseok telling to talk to Namjoon about it, so I thought right now would be the perfect time. "Um I need help." I finished with picking all the roses I want and turned to Namjoon.

"What is it?" He looked towards me as well making eye contact.

"Well yesterday when I was s-sleeping, I had like some sort of a-attack because I saw the m-man who h-hurt me in my dreams. Hoseok came and helped to calm me down and told m-me to come to you for help."

"Well what were you feeling." We both walk down the pathway. I had the roses in my hand while Namjoon had his hands behind his back while the 2 of use side by side walked along the cement trail.

"Well I was sweating a lot. And felt out of breathe. I also had dark nightmares like drowning. When I saw him I went into panic and freaked out. I felt lost." I was really saying everything I felt. Spilling all my concern out because I wanted help. I didn't want to live in fear anymore after being granted with a miracle.

"From the way you're describing things, you had a panic attack. You saw something that triggered you to freeze kinda, the way you were feeling. These will mainly happen when you're asleep but it will soon lead you to having anxiety when you're awake. You don't like being in tight rooms, it will trigger you and make you have an attack."

I frowned hearing all that. More suffering. The idea and way did not sound cool at all. I'm scared of many things from my post-traumatic stress disorder which Namjoon diagnosed me with it a few days ago, the reason he also knows I don't like small spaces. As well as being touched, sharp things, yelling, conflicting of my movement, harsh words, and many other things.

"How can I s-stop it?"

"First we need to get you on some medication which will help control it, I'll make some up later today. You'll also need to forget what had happened which will try to help you with. Being exposed to thing you like and make you happy will help with it as well."

I was being bombarded with so much information to take in, my mind kinda went blank. The being said I later switch a few seconds later. "Joonie." I tugged on his sweater from the side.

"Oh, TaeTae. He probably regressed due to so much information being thrown at him." Namjoon called himself a idiot for that knowing the boy was very sensitive but right now he had to deal with the little. "Hi baby."

"Hungry." Namjoon nodded and picked up TaeTae who still clung onto the roses and headed inside. He walked to the kitchen and place the small boy on the counter.

"What do you wanna eat?" He questioned the boy who put his finger on his chin as if he was thinking.

"I want noodles." Namjoon nodded sweating a little. Everyone knew he wasn't the most trusted in the kitchen. Yes he is actually a decent cook and can make real good meals but the amount of stuff he broke is to much to count.

He gently took a pot from the top kitchen cabinet trying his best to not add a lot of pressure. But nothing he touches is ever gentle, oh no. His littlest of touches is like a punch. The pot handle ended up breaking off and fell on the floor making the loud swirling sound cookware makes.

TaeTae on the other hand died of laughter. His little laughing filled he room which made Namjoon smile at. But his face instantly dropped when hearing the front door open.

"Hey were home!"

As well as Jin's voice.

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Bye bye 🌸

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