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EIGHTEEN
paranoia
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The sidewalk to my house is generally devoid of any folk at this time of the day and taking a walk down to the Adelaide Central Market is my way of getting a 'breath'.
I was half-jogging though I had forgotten to change from my canvas shoes to sneakers but what ever. My heart was still pounding heavily against my ribs and I didn't know the particular reasons why I had suddenly freaked out when every thing was going so smooth.
"Vanessa! Hey! Wait up!" Ian's faint voice behind me makes me halt. But I don't turn around to look at him because I already knew when I left the house that he'd come. The fact that I was a pretty fast walker might have made him increase his pace a bit and he was panting.
"Are you alright?" he asks, frowning at me as he catches up his breath.
"Do I look like I'm about to break down or something?" I roll my eyes and earn a scowl from him.
"Vanessa don't you pretend. At least not in front of me." he says, crossing his arms.
"What are you, a therapist? Or better, a tarot card reader?!"
I see his jaws twitching at my sudden snapping but he glances at me and exhales slowly, probably trying not to fight back. Being the birthday girl has its advantages, be it for a day or just some minutes.
"What's wrong? Why did you just leave? It's not like someone back there was insulting you or something" he says, observing my face.
I bite the inside of my cheeks. This guy just won't let go without an honest answer and I also don't know why do I always give in.
"I feel like, something bad will happen. Because...the morning was so perfect and since last night I have been really happy and I am totally not used to being a happy person so it's kind of an unknown territory. I am scared..." I explain in one breath and I felt as if the pressure has been released off my chest.
Did it really feel this good to just share what you're thinking? Because so far I have been just a closed up person and Jae-Hwa and Audrey have accepted me that way since toddler days. There wasn't the need for them to worry because I never opened up. But Ian made it all different.
"Paranoid" He says and purses his lips.
"Yeah, yeah...that's the word." I nod, looking up briefly at his shining pair of emeralds that never failed to make me feel lost.
"I have a better idea... Uh, do you wanna go for a drive?" he asks.
"Where? And everyone's waiting up there. We haven't even eaten breakfast!" I exclaim, my eyes widening because the idea got me totally baffled.
