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THIRTY-FIVE
aftermath
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I open my eyes to the blinding lights of a hospital room, my blurred vision gradually becoming clear and focussing on a woman wearing mint green scrubs. And then I spot Ian, his back supported against the greyish walls --- his eyes bloodshot and cheeks tearstained.
"Are you awake? Oh Jesus, we are worried sick." Audrey sighs from the stool by the bed.
I try to sit up with Jae-Hwa's help, my tongue feels like it has been rubbed with sand paper and my throat was scorched. My eyes scan across the room while the doctor handed me water and a green tinted pill.
Stefan was pinching the bridge of his nose, desperately trying to stop his lacrimal glands from functioning. I felt like I was forgetting something, as if I had missed the show while I was zoned out.
"What happened?" I mutter and Audrey looks away, her lower lips trembling.
"Iris is awake now. You...you fainted." Jae-Hwa whispers, patting my back.
It comes to my mind right at that moment --- the pool of crimson, the grey hoodie...the asphalt...the ambulance siren wailing and... I couldn't remember more, my memory was black after that.
"Zeke." It comes out of my mouth like it was just waiting to be said.
"It was an accident, V. We couldn't have done anything. He was dead when we reached there. The car hit him straight and fast." Audrey says in a robotical voice. That's what she does when she is shaken up. She doesn't express much about her feelings but the glassy eyes said everything.
"Iris..." I whimper, unable to speak anymore. My heart was tearing apart, as if a thousand swords had been cutting through me. But it was real.
Ezekiel Cleveland was dead.
"She doesn't know yet. We chose not to tell her." Stefan clears his throat, dragging himself forward and facing me.
"But she will know. If not today, tomorrow." I say, my hands and feet were going numb.
My mind kept replaying the day I first met him to the day we shared cigarettes on top of an abandoned building for the last time. Oh, how could I know it would be the last!
I had always wished to die. But now, when I am here standing witness to death --- I am scared. How did he feel before he died? And the aftermath? Does he even know what is an aftermath? Perhaps he won't get a chance to know that.
